February 17, 2014

Kaziranga - The Land of Rhinos

Kaziranga National Park and Tiger Reserve in Assam is famed for being home to two-thirds of the one-horned rhino population and having the highest ecological density of tigers of any protected area in the world. Elephants, water buffaloes, wild boars, deer, monkeys, turtles, migratory birds, and other wildlife are also present in significant numbers in the 450 square kilometre World Heritage Site. During monsoon season, the park is closed to visitors.


I headed from Guwahati to Kaziranga on an Assam State bus, handing my phone to the driver so the manager of the jungle lodge where I would be spending a few nights at could tell him exactly where to drop me off. I was deposited on the side of the street in the dark and told to wait. Soon after, I saw a light moving towards me from 200 meters away. It solidified into a boy holding a flashlight who guided me to my tent at the nicely maintained Nature Hunt Eco Lodge.


After dinner and some drinks with fellow guests around a campfire, I headed back to my tent. The same boy who had retrieved me from the road ran towards me yelling ‘Leopard! Leopard! Come see!’. I did not have a strong inclination to head in the direction of a leopard, but the boy was particularly enthusiastic so I followed him. He pointed his torch into the trees above and pointed to a civet among the branches. It was a significantly smaller jungle cat than a leopard.


The next day I woke at 530 am to go on an elephant safari. The start point was a half an hour jeep ride away from the lodge. I sat atop the elephant. The giant beast slowly ate its way through the grasslands, stopping at the behest of its mahout whenever rhinos or other wildlife were within breathing distance.


After pulling over at the side of the road on the way back from the jeep safari for a quick halt at a roadside temple, the driver told a story about why he prays for safety to the gods every day. Apparently the week before a rhino had munched on the front wheel of a jeep, then continued up until the windscreen, at which point he tossed the car sideways, flinging the passengers of the vehicle to the nearest hospital. The rhino had also hurt his neck in the incident.


I also heard a story of a tiger attacking a forest ranger within the national park. Another ranger rushed to his defence and shot the tiger, but he was punished. The law states that it is illegal to harm tigers, even for self defence, as Kaziranga is their natural habitat and it is humans that are encroaching on their territory.


In the afternoon I went on 3 hour open air jeep safari, spotting pretty much everything but a tiger. The driver did point out fresh tiger prints on top of the tire tracks of the last jeep that had passed the area, and trees where tigers had left claw marks.  I was surprised to hear that rhinos could achieve speeds of up to 40-45 km/h, similar to the pace K-girls can reach when they detect me in their vicinity. We had a few close calls with charging rhinos and protective mother elephants but the driver was always quick on the accelerator to keep us out of harms way.


*****

The only way to save a rhinoceros is to save the environment in which it lives, because there's a mutual dependency between it and millions of other species of both animals and plants. ~ David Attenborough

February 04, 2014

Monkey King

I was having lunch at Hai Di Lao, my favourite hotpot restaurant in Shanghai. The broth can splatter onto diners, so a range of protective accessories from aprons to cellphone covers and hair bands are provided to patrons. 

Pretty Chinese Girl: Here is hair band for your head. Oh, I forgot you don’t have hair there anymore! Hahahahaha. Anyway, you can use it for your hairy back then. 

Me: Korean girls don’t like my hairy body.

PCG: No girl like it.

Me: Maybe Latin ones? I’m not sure.

PCG: If they like monkey.

January 29, 2014

Dance Wance

Me: This year I need to find a job, meet a girl, get some muscles, and learn how to dance.

Pretty Chinese Girl: The dance is impossible.

Me: Why!? Maybe it is hidden inside of me somewhere...

PCG: Must be very deep inside then.

January 26, 2014

Handsome & Judgmental

Pretty Chinese Girl: You always say white man, black man, pretty girl, ugly girl. You are very judgmental. 

Me: Handsome judgmental man.

PCG: Handsome does not belong anywhere near you!

January 24, 2014

Horse

Pretty Chinese Girl: Wow! Your nose holes are enormous. Just like a horse!

Me: That’s not the only thing that’s like a horse.

PCG: The nose holes must take forever to clean.

Me: Or many fingers…

PCG: At least two can fit inside at once!

January 19, 2014

A Difference of Opinion

I had a layover in Shanghai, and briefly met up with a Chinese girl who I knew from my Beijing days.

Pretty Chinese Girl: You are still short! Hahaha.

Me: Well… I am tall in China.

PCG: You look same as before but half your hair is gone.

Me: Yes, because of the water in China.

PCG: Do not blame everything on China.

Me: I am skinnier though.

PCG: You look older.

Me: You mean skinnier and younger?

PCG: No, older.

Me: Younger?

PCG: Do you want to hear my real thought or do you want just I repeat your opinion?

January 12, 2014

Conversations with Cabbies: Are you Married?

Filipinos are a very warm and friendly lot, and not just in comparison to Koreans (as then almost everyone else would also qualify). Whereas the average Korean is mute when in the vicinity of a non-Korean or if their smartphone still has battery life left, Filipinos are quite talkative. They have curiosity and some awareness of the world around them, especially because a lot of them have worked overseas or know family and friends that have done so. The cab drivers in the Philippines frequently engaged me in conversation.

Cab driver: Are you married?
Me: No, are you?
Cab driver: Yes, two.
Me: Two?
Cab driver: Yes.
Me: You have two children?
Cab driver: No, two wives. 
Me: Oh, I don’t even have one.

December 30, 2013

Arnab's Year in Cities - 2013



In the year of our Arnab 2013, I visited 7 countries and stayed overnight in 30 different cities from Andong to Yangon. I was largely based in Asia this year, with the only exception being a trip to Greece in summer. Spectacularly diverse adventures were to be had across the contintent in Myanmar, Mongolia, and Indonesia. For a while I worked out of my company's Indian office in Gurgaon, which allowed me to visit my family and friends during off days. A company trip to Bangkok and a friend's wedding at a beachside resort in Krabi resulted in multiple visits to Thailand.  

The 2013 List 


  • Andong, South Korea
  • Athens, Greece
  • Bagan, Myanmar
  • Bangkok, Thailand
  • Boseong, South Korea
  • Busan, South Korea
  • Changwon, South Korea
  • Delhi NCR, India
  • Fira, Greece
  • Gangneung, South Korea
  • Inle, Myanmar
  • Jakarta, Indonesia
  • Jeonju, South Korea
  • Jindo, South Korea
  • Jinju, South Korea
  • Kolkata, India
  • Krabi, Thailand
  • Kuta, Indonesia
  • Mandalay, Myanmar
  • Meteora, Greece
  • Mumbai, India
  • Padang Bai, Indonesia
  • Pohang, South Korea
  • Sacheon, South Korea
  • Samcheok, South Korea
  • Seoul, South Korea
  • Tongyeong, South Korea
  • Ubud, Indonesia
  • Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
  • Yangon, Myanmar   

  • Past years



    ******

    All men dream; but not equally.
    Those who dream by night in the dusty
    recesses of their minds
    Awake to find that it was vanity; 
    But the dreamers of day are dangerous men. 
    That they may act their dreams with open 
    eyes to make it possible.
    ~ Lawrence of Arabia

    December 27, 2013

    Sejongjo Hoeryeyeon - The King's Banquet


    The Korean youth have a colour palette consisting of black, grey, and brown. They dress as if they are on the way to a funeral every day, mourning the passing of the last traces of their individuality. Colourful garb can only be found on the mountainside, where oldsters wear a rainbow of brand named hiking gear as they climb the various scenic ranges that span the nation, or during festivals celebrating Korea’s history and culture, where the traditional hanbok dress is worn by both men and women. 


    On January 1, 1433, in the 15th year of King Sejong’s reign, a lavish banquet to celebrate the new year was held for the first time. King Sejong was an accomplished leader who funded the development of hanguel, the Korean alphabet which replaced the complicated Chinese characters that were in use until then. Nowadays, the Sejongjo Hoeryeyeon royal banquet is reenacted annually at the Gyeongbokgung Palace to celebrate the king and his achievements and also to give modern man an insight into their colourful past.




    The enthralling spectacle consists of music, drama, dance, bows, wine, and food. About four hundred performers, including artists trained in the traditional styles of aak (the music played during Confucian rites), dangak (music adapted from China's Tang dynasty), and hyangak (indigenous Korean court music), entertain both the king and his audience on a grand scale. Food and wine is offered to the king in a ritual manner, with heavy bowing taking place whenever the opportunity presents itself.


    *****

    All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind. ~ Khalil Gibran 

    December 21, 2013

    Chronicles of Korea


    As my time in Korea comes to an end, I compiled a thorough list of the different places I visited around the country during my stay. The natural and historical sites had much more variety and charm than the inhabitants. Although it pales in comparison to my Chinese adventures, there was still a lot to see and explore in this small but densely populated nation. 


    *****

    Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ~ Confucius

    December 14, 2013

    Greece


    Amidst years spent in the high-octane economies of Asia full of aspirational youth and rapidly growing businesses, I made a visit to the Old World where a completely different attitude prevails. Mired in a depression with no end in site, Greece struggles to regain even a portion of its former glory.


    The birthplace of democracy, the home of brilliant philosophers and mathematicians, and the training grounds for legions of brave warriors boasts the remnants of its past as its main drawing card in these austere times. Many stores in central Athens were shuttered, with unemployed members of society and walls sprayed with graffiti as prevalent as plastic surgery clinics and mismatched couples in South Korea.


    The food was good, but not substantially better than the dishes found in Greek restaurants elsewhere. In some ways it was worse, as all vegetable portions had somehow become replaced with french fries in almost every dish I ordered (perhaps as a cost cutting measure).


    The summer weather was hot and dry, with greenery nowhere to be found in the arid landscape. The English was decent although some people had the habit of using the words ‘stairs’ and ‘escalators” interchangeably, leading to some unexpected surprises for elderly travelers.


    I had about 8-9 days in hand for my Greek odyssey. My journey in Hellas began with a night in the port town of Piraeus, followed by three days on the mystical isle of Santorini, and then a return to the mainland to see the historical sites of Meteora, Delphi, Corinth, and Athens.  


    *****

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. ~ Douglas Everett

    December 06, 2013

    Poor Arnab

    A pretty Chinese girl expressed her sympathy for me after hearing about my sad state of affairs with K-girls: 

    Poor Arnab... Indian black hairy IT nerd
    
The description sounds tragedy enough...

    December 02, 2013

    The Bridge of Life


    On the surface, Seoul is the most perfect place I have lived in. The benefits of living in the Korean megapolis are aplenty:
    • All manner of commercial establishments stay open day and night
    • An extensive public transit system augmented with moderately priced cabs 
    • Safe and clean environs with an honest and hygienic populace
    • High speed trains and express buses which allow me to easily explore the rest of the country on weekends
    • Blazing fast broadband and wireless internet speeds 
    • Main courses at restaurants that come with a healthy assortment of side dishes, which are refilled for free
    • Public restrooms are easily available so I do not have to improvise during emergencies
    • New shipments of K-girls roll out of the beauty factories of Sinsa and Apgujeong at regularly scheduled intervals
    • Heated floors
    • Toilets can wash and dry nether regions at the push of a button (if pressed in the correct order)


    Once you peel away the layers of benefits afforded by the 24/7 conveniences of Korean life, the rotten core is revealed. A society catapulted from subsistence to modernity in a handful of decades always leaves some behind. Alcoholism, prostitution, domestic abuse, plastic surgery, video game addiction, chronic mistreatment of international heartthrobs, and long hours at the office are commonplace.


    Most struggle day to day to keep up appearances and conform to societal norms, to show their friends and neighbours that they are just as successful as them (or slightly more so), and to push themselves and their offspring into continuing the loop of never-ending education and work required to accumulate additional wealth and status.



    It comes as no surprise that South Korea is annually number one in the world suicide rankings. Samsung tried to convert the suicide hotspot of Mapo Bridge into a place where such deadly actions could be averted. Portions of the railings on the interactive Bridge of Life light up with message beacons as one walks by. 


    A string of hopeful phrases written in Korean bring about anticipation of a better future or elicit recollections of happy times - “A loved one waiting for you at home.”, “The best is yet to come.”, and so on. Unfortunately suicides actually went up after the conversion of the bridge, as the publicity it created drew more members of society to its edge. 


    *****

    "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

    November 29, 2013

    ARNABarbecue: Nice to Meat You

    Korean BBQ restaurants are immensely popular for dinner, especially to commemorate celebratory occasions. For the birthday of a Danish friend, we ventured to a busy barbecue house in a lively student area in Seoul. Although the meat and accompaniments are provided by the BBQ restaurant, the cooking is usually done by the diners themselves. They have to carefully transfer the meat from the plate it sits on and place it on the barbecue. 


    The pieces of meat have to be turned over in a timely fashion so that they do not get charred or stuck to the grill. Scissors can be used to cut the meat into more manageable chunks. Adjustable overhead vents suck up the smoke. Clothes can be stuffed in to large plastic bags or in the empty space underneath ones seat, so that they do not end up smelling of juicy strips of pork or beef. 


    We could tell that at this particular restaurant the meat was very fresh. When it was brought to our table it was still in the original wrapping from the grocery store it was purchased from, complete with price tag. I kept the price tag (410g of beef for 41,000 Korean won) as a souvenir. As the night continued, we ended up at a bar. Outside the restroom I was waiting in line behind a beauty, who noticed the price tag affixed to my chest.

    K-girl: You are beef?

    Me: Do you like beef?

    K-girl: No... I like pork.

    November 24, 2013

    Never O'clock

    Korean girl: I have a friend who lives in Gangnam. Her family is wealthy and she recently had plastic surgery.

    Me: Oh, when do we meet?

    Korean girl: Never o'clock!


    November 21, 2013

    Myanmar


    Three old friends from my Beijing days and I reunited after a few years for a weeklong trip to Myanmar (previously known as Burma). The people of Myanmar were friendly, helpful, and full of warmth. Even though they did not possess abundant quantities of material wealth, most people we encountered were clever enough. While the masses of smartphone wielding drones in Korean sport a vacant look around the clock, the Myanmarians had that distinct sharpness in their eyes that belies a certain awareness of their surroundings. They also did not appear to be made from plastic


    On the topic of plastic, access to cash using internationally issued credit or debit cards is now a viable alternative to carrying large wads of US dollars as ATM’s made their way to Myanmar a year or two before I did. The nation was generally closed off to the West for the greater part of the past few decades, only opening up recently as it slowly transitions from military rule to democracy. American brands are not readily visible, although signs of Japanese, Chinese, and Korean investment into the gold rush of economic development that awaits Myanmar were apparent.  


    The Myanmarians still use their traditional forms of dress and makeup in day to day life. This meant full length body hugging outfits for the women, their faces coated with a paste that functions as both sunscreen and beauty product, and loose sarongs for the men. The English level was decent everywhere we went, so there was little problem in communication. Of course after being in Korea, my standards for judging English competency have slipped as low as K-girls’ standards in selecting their mates.



    The infrastructure was much better than nearby Laos and Cambodia, but Myanmar dwarfs these nations with a population exceeding 60 million inhabitants. Even with an established transportation system, moving about was still a hair-raising experience. We took all forms of transit available to us - trains, taxis, buses, bicycles, backs of trucks with the open tailgate functioning as the platform for more passengers to stand upon, and horse carts to name a few - to make our way from Yangon to Mandalay, with stops in Bagan and Inle in between.

    November 17, 2013

    Mongolia


    Harsh, empty, and beautiful are words that could describe either K-girls or the Mongolian landscape. Add natural to that list of adjectives, and the land of Genghis Khan remains the only viable option among the two. I had previously visited Inner Mongolia, the part of the once great empire now absorbed by China, to explore the ghost city of Ordos and perform a Bollywood-style dance in the singing sands of the Gobi desert. This gave me a vague idea of the type of environment I was to expect in Mongolia, but did not prepare me for the vast open spaces, hearty lifestyle, hospitable people, and charming desolation that I would experience during my trip. 



    Last Chuseok mostly fell on a weekend, so I spent my limited days on the island paradise of Jeju as I could not venture very far from the peninsula. The Korean thanksgiving holiday fortuitously fell on three consecutive weekdays this year, so I took a couple of extra days off work to convert it into a nine day sojourn of Mongolia.


    The least densely populated country on Earth, Mongolia is about 15 times the size of South Korea but has less than 3 million inhabitants compared to the 50 million denizens of Daehanminguk. The capital city of Ulaanbaatar was utilized primarily as a base for entry and exit into Mongolia, as most of the days were spent on the road exploring sand dunes and national parks. A sturdy but aged Russian vehicle was used for transportation and circular tents (called gers) were the primary type of accommodation.


    *****

    The open road is a beckoning, a strangeness, a place where a man can lose himself. ~ William Least Heat-Moon

    November 12, 2013

    Cardboard

    Me (pointing to a piece of cardboard lying on a table): It resembles the personality of a Korean man.

    Korean man (upon realizing the cardboard had a greyish hue): But the colour is like your heart.

    November 08, 2013

    Conversations with K-girls: Hairy Chest

    After seeing a tuft of my majestic chest hair...

    Korean girl #1: Ahhhhhhh, I hate it!

    Korean girl #2: Going home now.

    Korean girl #1 (to Korean guy): He is the Arab?

    Korean guy: No, India.

    Korean girl #1: Does the India girl like the hair? Korean girl hate that kind of thing.

    Me: Yes, they love it.

    Korean girl #1: Ughhhh.


    November 06, 2013

    Do Not Mock


    Me: South Korea is officially called Daehanminguk (대한민국)?

    Korean guy: Yes.

    Me: So the direct translation is something like big/great (dae) first/best (han) people's republic (minguk)?

    Korean guy: Do not mock.  

    November 05, 2013

    Inner Beauty

    Korean woman: You never say anything nice about me.

    Me: Really? I think you have great inner beauty.

    Korean woman: What about my outer beauty?

    Me: I appreciate you for your great inner beauty.

    Korean woman: Oh my god! I can't believe you said that. My boyfriend would kill you if he heard this.

    Me: He might attempt the same if he heard I greatly appreciated your outer beauty.

    November 01, 2013

    Honeyed Words

    Chinese girl: When I ask some favor form you, I should say something good, especially handsome ~ cool guy ~~something like that haha

    Me: That's right!

    October 29, 2013

    Prince Disease

    Korean girl: You have prince disease.

    Me: Prince disease?

    Korean girl: You don't know prince disease?

    Me: No... what is it?

    Korean girl: Let me find English word.

    <Consults Korean-English dictionary on smartphone for several minutes>

    Korean girl: Ahh... it means 'you are snob'!

    October 28, 2013

    So Wrong, It's Right

    Malaysian friend: What are you doing?

    Me: I am looking amazing.

    Malaysian friend: Dude, you are an IT technician with zero social skills who thinks he is the bomb. That's just not right.

    October 14, 2013

    Medusa and the Sunken Palace

    A stone's throw away from the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul is the entrance to the Basilica Cistern. The so-called Sunken Palace is an impressive underground complex that features a pair of Medusa heads. Medusa was the infamous Gorgon whose gaze was able to turn her victims into stone, similar to how a wayward glance from the surgically altered eyes of a K-girl has the ability to turn my knees into jelly.


    First constructed 1500 years ago under the rule of the Roman emperor Constantine, the chamber remained in operation for a thousand years until the Ottoman era. The largest cistern in all Constantinople with a capacity to hold 80,000 cubic meters of water, the engineering marvel is a rather large facility and still in solid condition.


    7000 slaves toiled away for several years to build the waterproof facility. The beads of sweat dropping from their forehead  were among the first liquid donations to the cistern, which was designed to hold rainwater for future use.


    Many of the marble and granite columns that support the structure were reused from even more ancient ruins or were surplus from other construction projects, so they sport a variety of styles from Ionic to Doric. The two Medusa heads arrived from parts unknown, ending up upside down or sideways to fit into the general architecture without additional modification and also to avoid her direct gaze.

    October 12, 2013

    Jinju Namgang Lantern Festival


    A four hour bus ride southward from Seoul's Nambu Bus Terminal saw me arrive in Jinju. I strolled to the riverside, arriving just in time for the start of the day's lantern festivities. The Jinju Namgang Yudeong Festival is held annually on the river that cuts a swathe through the town of 350,000. Several battles took place between the Koreans and the Japanese during the Imjin War in the 1500s in the region. The 70,000 Korean lives lost in the defence of the nation are commemorated by releasing the floating lamps into the Nam river every year.


    The most noticeable landmark in town is Jinjuseong, a large fortress straddling the southern side of the Namgang. With spectacular river views and live performances it was the place to be on a happening Saturday night. After enjoying the festivities late into the evening, I went in search of food and accommodation.


    I followed the masses to the eMart supermarket - a bastion of hope for a hungry man. A young lady at the food court took my order and giggled surreptitiously at the same time. Exceedingly handsome men are a rare sight in Jinju. I hurriedly completed my meal, worried that no rooms would be available and that I would have to spend another night wide awake at a 24 hour Korean sauna.


    Due to the fact that many Korean males live with their parents into their thirties and also have a penchant for infidelity, both single and married men have a need for seedy love motels to carry out their amorous activities. They can also be used for wholesome purposes such as catching some simple shut eye. I wandered the streets and enquired for the availability of rooms at each such love motel I happened to pass by. On my fifth attempt, I found a motel with one room remaining.


    After showing me my room, the motel manager invited me for a nightcap and regaled me with his life story. Thirty years ago he had studied English in university. On this day he finally had the opportunity to use it. As English vocabulary from bygone days drifted to the tip of his tongue, he told me his life story in disjointed sentence fragments. I would guess what he was trying to say and he would confirm whether my interpretation was the correct one.


    The manager told me of how as schoolchildren decades ago, he and his classmates would release a few lanterns into the river. Nowadays, he explained, the lantern festival had exploded into a well-organized but tacky extravaganza which lacked the simplicity and charm of bygone days.


    While we were conversing two beauties approached the counter. They inquired as to if a room was available and he turned them away. "You very lucky." he said earnestly, "If you come 30 minutes after, then you find two ladies in your room". I agreed that that would have been an entirely unfortunate turn of events.

    October 02, 2013

    Conversations with K-girls: Lebanon

    K-girl: Are you Lebanon?

    Me: No, I am from Canada.

    K-girl: ...

    Me: ...

    K-girl: ... Are you Lebanon?