Like a Villain

Coworker: Where do you live?

Me: In the Tenderloin.

Coworker: Oh, I never go to that part of town!

Me: Why not? It has character.

Coworker: Like a villain has character.

Standard Deviation

Manager: Why isn't anything working today!?

Subordinate: You ask this question as if somehow today is a deviation from the norm.

Dumpster

Me: There's a notice posted on the door of my apartment elevator asking people not to leave their garbage inside.

Friend: Arnab, are you OK with these restrictions on your freedom?

Tales from the Taqueria

Despite being plagued by a string of natural and man-made calamities ranging from drought and destitution to earthquakes and tech geeks, the Bay Area does have some redeeming qualities. Chief among them is the authentic Mexican fare found at franchises like Chipotle or at the many mom and pop taquerias dotting neighbourhoods like the Mission. The tacos, burritos, nachos, and a barley/rice based concoction known as horchata are all delightful menu items. Ordering these can get a bit messy when the service staff have accents thicker than a scoop of guacamole.

Me: Can I have super nachos with chorizo?

Waitress: Is that for here or to go?

Me: Chorizo.

Waitress: No, do you want it for here or to go?

Me: To go.

Waitress: With chorizo?

Me: No, to go.