Showing posts with label quotables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotables. Show all posts

December 06, 2013

Poor Arnab

A pretty Chinese girl expressed her sympathy for me after hearing about my sad state of affairs with K-girls: 

Poor Arnab... Indian black hairy IT nerd

The description sounds tragedy enough...

November 29, 2013

ARNABarbecue: Nice to Meat You

Korean BBQ restaurants are immensely popular for dinner, especially to commemorate celebratory occasions. For the birthday of a Danish friend, we ventured to a busy barbecue house in a lively student area in Seoul. Although the meat and accompaniments are provided by the BBQ restaurant, the cooking is usually done by the diners themselves. They have to carefully transfer the meat from the plate it sits on and place it on the barbecue. 

The pieces of meat have to be turned over in a timely fashion so that they do not get charred or stuck to the grill. Scissors can be used to cut the meat into more manageable chunks. Adjustable overhead vents suck up the smoke. Clothes can be stuffed in to large plastic bags or in the empty space underneath ones seat, so that they do not end up smelling of juicy strips of pork or beef. 

We could tell that at this particular restaurant the meat was very fresh. When it was brought to our table it was still in the original wrapping from the grocery store it was purchased from, complete with price tag. I kept the price tag (410g of beef for 41,000 Korean won) as a souvenir. As the night continued, we ended up at a bar. Outside the restroom I was waiting in line behind a beauty, who noticed the price tag affixed to my chest.

K-girl: You are beef?

Me: Do you like beef?

K-girl: No... I like pork.

November 24, 2013

Never O'clock

Korean girl: I have a friend who lives in Gangnam. Her family is wealthy and she recently had plastic surgery.

Me: Oh, when do we meet?

Korean girl: Never o'clock!

November 12, 2013


Me (pointing to a piece of cardboard lying on a table): It resembles the personality of a Korean man.

Korean man (upon realizing the cardboard had a greyish hue): But the colour is like your heart.

November 08, 2013

Conversations with K-girls: Hairy Chest

After seeing a tuft of my majestic chest hair...

Korean girl #1: Ahhhhhhh, I hate it!

Korean girl #2: Going home now.

Korean girl #1 (to Korean guy): He is the Arab?

Korean guy: No, India.

Korean girl #1: Does the India girl like the hair? Korean girl hate that kind of thing.

Me: Yes, they love it.

Korean girl #1: Ughhhh.

November 06, 2013

Do Not Mock

Me: South Korea is officially called Daehanminguk (대한민국)?

Korean guy: Yes.

Me: So the direct translation is something like big/great (dae) first/best (han) people's republic (minguk)?

Korean guy: Do not mock.  

November 05, 2013

Inner Beauty

Korean woman: You never say anything nice about me.

Me: Really? I think you have great inner beauty.

Korean woman: What about my outer beauty?

Me: I appreciate you for your great inner beauty.

Korean woman: Oh my god! I can't believe you said that. My boyfriend would kill you if he heard this.

Me: He might attempt the same if he heard I greatly appreciated your outer beauty.

November 01, 2013

Honeyed Words

Chinese girl: When I ask some favor form you, I should say something good, especially handsome ~ cool guy ~~something like that haha

Me: That's right!

October 29, 2013

Prince Disease

Korean girl: You have prince disease.

Me: Prince disease?

Korean girl: You don't know prince disease?

Me: No... what is it?

Korean girl: Let me find English word.

<Consults Korean-English dictionary on smartphone for several minutes>

Korean girl: Ahh... it means 'you are snob'!

October 28, 2013

So Wrong, It's Right

Malaysian friend: What are you doing?

Me: I am looking amazing.

Malaysian friend: Dude, you are an IT technician with zero social skills who thinks he is the bomb. That's just not right.

October 02, 2013

Conversations with K-girls: Lebanon

K-girl: Are you Lebanon?

Me: No, I am from Canada.

K-girl: ...

Me: ...

K-girl: ... Are you Lebanon?

September 22, 2013


Korean lady: I have friends who work as fashion models and they are always talking about their Botox injections.

Me: You have friends who are fashion models?

Korean lady: Don't worry. I will never introduce them to you!

September 13, 2013

Compliments of the Arnab

Korean lady: Why are you smiling?

Me: I am looking good.

Korean lady: Thank you!

After she walked away with a big grin on her face, I discussed the incident with a German guy who was in the vicinity.

Me: I said 'I am looking good' but she only heard 'looking good'.

German guy: Yes, I heard the entire conversation... but I didn't mention anything.

Me: Perhaps I should give more compliments.

German guy: Yes, you should.

September 04, 2013

Conversations with K-girls: Home Run

Me: Would you like a coffee courtesy of Arnab?

K-girl: Can I go home instead?

September 02, 2013

Arnabian Nights

A cult classic in karaoke rooms across South Asia, the lyrics for the Arnabisized version of the song 'Arabian Nights' from Disney's Aladdin have thus far been passed down from generation to generation only orally. The lyrics are presented here in written form for the first time:

Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place 
Where the caravan camels roam 
Where they cut off your ear 
If they don't like your face 
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home 

When the wind's from the east 
And the sun's from the west 
And the sand in the glass is right 
Come on down 
Stop on by 
Hop a carpet and fly 
To another Arnabian night 

Arnabian nights 
Like Arnabian days 
More often than not 
Are hotter than hot 
In a lot of good ways 

August 19, 2013

There Is No Try

A Korean guy and I were discussing a K-girl who was a shared acquaintance.

Korean guy: She is different from other girls. She is willing to try everything once. That is her good quality.

Me: No... not everything.

Korean guy: Kkkkk. Everything but you!

August 16, 2013

Car Comparison

One day I was walking through a car park containing an assortment of vehicles in Seoul with an American guy.

Me: I often ask Korean girls why they are so fixated on Hyundais or Kias (Korean guys) and BMWs (white guys), when they could aim higher for an exotic supercar like a Ferrari or Lamborghini (myself).

American guy: ... And that is why you don't get a second date.

August 12, 2013

A Kind Reminder from China

I had mentioned to a Chinese beauty how badly her Korean counterparts were treating me, so she supplied some gentle words to soothe my suffering:

"Girls...hmm, never a problem, if they don't like you, it's their lost! However, you do need to express yourself more than just showing your HTML code...not every girl get it...a kind reminder ;P"

August 02, 2013

Maid in Korea

Korean man: Arnab has maid in India.

Korean woman: Really!?

Me: Many, but I don't have a personal one.

Korean man: Does maid help you take shower?

Me: In Korea I have no maid.

Korean woman: That is why you don't take shower! Hahahahaha.

July 14, 2013

Conversations with K-girls: No Idea

K-girl: <emitting a random stream of English words>

Me: Yes, yes.

K-girl: Do you have any idea what I am saying?

Me: No.

K-girl: Me neither.