Poor Arnab... Indian black hairy IT nerdThe description sounds tragedy enough...
Showing posts with label quotables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotables. Show all posts
December 06, 2013
Poor Arnab
A pretty Chinese girl expressed her sympathy for me after hearing about my sad state of affairs with K-girls:
November 29, 2013
ARNABarbecue: Nice to Meat You
Korean BBQ restaurants are immensely popular for dinner, especially to commemorate celebratory occasions. For the birthday of a Danish friend, we ventured to a busy barbecue house in a lively student area in Seoul. Although the meat and accompaniments are provided by the BBQ restaurant, the cooking is usually done by the diners themselves. They have to carefully transfer the meat from the plate it sits on and place it on the barbecue.
The pieces of meat have to be turned over in a timely fashion so that they do not get charred or stuck to the grill. Scissors can be used to cut the meat into more manageable chunks. Adjustable overhead vents suck up the smoke. Clothes can be stuffed in to large plastic bags or in the empty space underneath ones seat, so that they do not end up smelling of juicy strips of pork or beef.
We could tell that at this particular restaurant the meat was very fresh. When it was brought to our table it was still in the original wrapping from the grocery store it was purchased from, complete with price tag. I kept the price tag (410g of beef for 41,000 Korean won) as a souvenir. As the night continued, we ended up at a bar. Outside the restroom I was waiting in line behind a beauty, who noticed the price tag affixed to my chest.
K-girl: You are beef?
Me: Do you like beef?
K-girl: No... I like pork.
November 24, 2013
Never O'clock
Korean girl: I have a friend who lives in Gangnam. Her family is wealthy and she recently had plastic surgery.
Me: Oh, when do we meet?
Korean girl: Never o'clock!
Me: Oh, when do we meet?
Korean girl: Never o'clock!
November 12, 2013
Cardboard
Me (pointing to a piece of cardboard lying on a table): It resembles the personality of a Korean man.
Korean man (upon realizing the cardboard had a greyish hue): But the colour is like your heart.
Korean man (upon realizing the cardboard had a greyish hue): But the colour is like your heart.
November 08, 2013
Conversations with K-girls: Hairy Chest
After seeing a tuft of my majestic chest hair...
Korean girl #1: Ahhhhhhh, I hate it!
Korean girl #2: Going home now.
Korean girl #1 (to Korean guy): He is the Arab?
Korean guy: No, India.
Korean girl #1: Does the India girl like the hair? Korean girl hate that kind of thing.
Me: Yes, they love it.
Korean girl #1: Ughhhh.
Korean girl #1: Ahhhhhhh, I hate it!
Korean girl #2: Going home now.
Korean girl #1 (to Korean guy): He is the Arab?
Korean guy: No, India.
Korean girl #1: Does the India girl like the hair? Korean girl hate that kind of thing.
Me: Yes, they love it.
Korean girl #1: Ughhhh.
November 06, 2013
Do Not Mock
Me: South Korea is officially called Daehanminguk (대한민국)?
Korean guy: Yes.
Me: So the direct translation is something like big/great (dae) first/best (han) people's republic (minguk)?
Korean guy: Do not mock.
November 05, 2013
Inner Beauty
Korean woman: You never say anything nice about me.
Me: Really? I think you have great inner beauty.
Korean woman: What about my outer beauty?
Me: I appreciate you for your great inner beauty.
Korean woman: Oh my god! I can't believe you said that. My boyfriend would kill you if he heard this.
Me: He might attempt the same if he heard I greatly appreciated your outer beauty.
Me: Really? I think you have great inner beauty.
Korean woman: What about my outer beauty?
Me: I appreciate you for your great inner beauty.
Korean woman: Oh my god! I can't believe you said that. My boyfriend would kill you if he heard this.
Me: He might attempt the same if he heard I greatly appreciated your outer beauty.
November 01, 2013
Honeyed Words
Chinese girl: When I ask some favor form you, I should say something good, especially handsome ~ cool guy ~~something like that haha
Me: That's right!
Me: That's right!
October 29, 2013
Prince Disease
Korean girl: You have prince disease.
Me: Prince disease?
Korean girl: You don't know prince disease?
Me: No... what is it?
Korean girl: Let me find English word.
<Consults Korean-English dictionary on smartphone for several minutes>
Korean girl: Ahh... it means 'you are snob'!
Me: Prince disease?
Korean girl: You don't know prince disease?
Me: No... what is it?
Korean girl: Let me find English word.
<Consults Korean-English dictionary on smartphone for several minutes>
Korean girl: Ahh... it means 'you are snob'!
October 28, 2013
So Wrong, It's Right
Malaysian friend: What are you doing?
Me: I am looking amazing.
Malaysian friend: Dude, you are an IT technician with zero social skills who thinks he is the bomb. That's just not right.
Me: I am looking amazing.
Malaysian friend: Dude, you are an IT technician with zero social skills who thinks he is the bomb. That's just not right.
October 02, 2013
Conversations with K-girls: Lebanon
K-girl: Are you Lebanon?
Me: No, I am from Canada.
K-girl: ...
Me: ...
K-girl: ... Are you Lebanon?
Me: No, I am from Canada.
K-girl: ...
Me: ...
K-girl: ... Are you Lebanon?
September 22, 2013
ARNABotoxed
Korean lady: I have friends who work as fashion models and they are always talking about their Botox injections.
Me: You have friends who are fashion models?
Korean lady: Don't worry. I will never introduce them to you!
Me: You have friends who are fashion models?
Korean lady: Don't worry. I will never introduce them to you!
September 13, 2013
Compliments of the Arnab
Korean lady: Why are you smiling?
Me: I am looking good.
Korean lady: Thank you!
After she walked away with a big grin on her face, I discussed the incident with a German guy who was in the vicinity.
Me: I said 'I am looking good' but she only heard 'looking good'.
German guy: Yes, I heard the entire conversation... but I didn't mention anything.
Me: Perhaps I should give more compliments.
German guy: Yes, you should.
Me: I am looking good.
Korean lady: Thank you!
After she walked away with a big grin on her face, I discussed the incident with a German guy who was in the vicinity.
Me: I said 'I am looking good' but she only heard 'looking good'.
German guy: Yes, I heard the entire conversation... but I didn't mention anything.
Me: Perhaps I should give more compliments.
German guy: Yes, you should.
September 04, 2013
Conversations with K-girls: Home Run
Me: Would you like a coffee courtesy of Arnab?
K-girl: Can I go home instead?
K-girl: Can I go home instead?
September 02, 2013
Arnabian Nights
A cult classic in karaoke rooms across South Asia, the lyrics for the Arnabisized version of the song 'Arabian Nights' from Disney's Aladdin have thus far been passed down from generation to generation only orally. The lyrics are presented here in written form for the first time:
Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear
If they don't like your face
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home
When the wind's from the east
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arnabian night
Arnabian nights
Like Arnabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways
Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear
If they don't like your face
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home
When the wind's from the east
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arnabian night
Arnabian nights
Like Arnabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways
August 19, 2013
There Is No Try
August 16, 2013
Car Comparison
One day I was walking through a car park containing an assortment of vehicles in Seoul with an American guy.
Me: I often ask Korean girls why they are so fixated on Hyundais or Kias (Korean guys) and BMWs (white guys), when they could aim higher for an exotic supercar like a Ferrari or Lamborghini (myself).
American guy: ... And that is why you don't get a second date.
Me: I often ask Korean girls why they are so fixated on Hyundais or Kias (Korean guys) and BMWs (white guys), when they could aim higher for an exotic supercar like a Ferrari or Lamborghini (myself).
American guy: ... And that is why you don't get a second date.
August 12, 2013
A Kind Reminder from China
I had mentioned to a Chinese beauty how badly her Korean counterparts were treating me, so she supplied some gentle words to soothe my suffering:
"Girls...hmm, never a problem, if they don't like you, it's their lost! However, you do need to express yourself more than just showing your HTML code...not every girl get it...a kind reminder ;P"
"Girls...hmm, never a problem, if they don't like you, it's their lost! However, you do need to express yourself more than just showing your HTML code...not every girl get it...a kind reminder ;P"
August 02, 2013
Maid in Korea
Korean man: Arnab has maid in India.
Korean woman: Really!?
Me: Many, but I don't have a personal one.
Korean man: Does maid help you take shower?
Me: In Korea I have no maid.
Korean woman: That is why you don't take shower! Hahahahaha.
Korean woman: Really!?
Me: Many, but I don't have a personal one.
Korean man: Does maid help you take shower?
Me: In Korea I have no maid.
Korean woman: That is why you don't take shower! Hahahahaha.
July 14, 2013
Conversations with K-girls: No Idea
K-girl: <emitting a random stream of English words>
Me: Yes, yes.
K-girl: Do you have any idea what I am saying?
Me: No.
K-girl: Me neither.
Me: Yes, yes.
K-girl: Do you have any idea what I am saying?
Me: No.
K-girl: Me neither.
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