December 21, 2008

Shady Business

I was meeting a friend so that we could visit the newly opened Starlight Casino in Queensborough. One of the restaurants there had been recommended. As I was getting into my friend's car I viciously collided into the side door frame of his vehicle. A *crack* sound resonated through the September sky. It was not my head that had been split in two, but my spectacles. The left arm had snapped cleanly off the rest of the frame.

I had misjudged the height of the vehicle, believing it to be of regular height when in fact it was quiet low. The collision caused no damage to the offending car, so no insurance claims were filed. The impact was strong enough to cause severe damage to my eyewear. My friend laughed with unabandonded glee at my misfortune for several minutes straight. He even phoned some of our other friends to tell them of my mishap, tears forming under his eyes as he shook uncontrollably whilst recounting the incident. Several more bursts of laughter followed, his mirth untouched by compassion for his fellow man.

The only store in the vicintiy selling glasses was Wal-Mart. I showed the optician my new pair of monocles and asked if he could fuse them together. He studied them carefully before coming to the conclusion that he could not. He scotch-taped them together, but they soon dislocated. At the restaurant I could not read the menu or see my food properly, relying on my other senses for guidance. We then went to another friend's house where I was barely able to watch the debut of the new version of 90210 on television.

I would have to wear sunglasses indoors and out for many days thereafter until my new glasses arrived.