Origin of the Feces

After alighting from a long distance bus taking us from Beijing to Tianjin, an American friend of mine immediately headed for the nearest public washroom. He entered 5 seconds before I did, and left the facilities 1 second before my entrance. The math did not quite add up.

Inside lay a sight to behold. A row of Chinese men were squatting with their pants down, directly facing anyone who entered the room. Their faces were contorted in various levels of pain or pleasure. Aghast, I swiveled towards the urinal. This is why the American had exited so hurriedly. If that was hell, then the ladies toilet would have been heaven.

As I began to take a leak, I saw a man glaring at me. We were diagonally opposite from each other so our urine was intersecting at a right angle. We maintained eye contact for the duration of the peculiarly perpendicular act before vacating the premises.

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“Psychiatry's chief contribution to philosophy is the discovery that the toilet is the seat of the soul.” - Alexander Chase