May 30, 2011

The Last Emperor

 

An Argentinian friend of mine from my days in Beijing had moved to Changchun, the largest city in the province of Jilin, to study Chinese. I visited him one weekend, but since the train arrived very early in the morning he refused to pick me up. I entertained myself by using sign language, sound effects, and drawings to find a washroom. After much confusion among the locals, one man exclaimed "Double u sheeee!" and delivered me to the promised land.


My friend showed up soon after, having pedaled on his bicycle from the university campus on the other side of the city. As we headed for some tourist sites, he would find out which bus I should board and then tail it on his bicycle. My fellow passengers would alert me when I should disembark.


The main tourist site in Changchun is the former residences of Puyi, the last emperor of China. The Japanese established Changchun as the capital of Manchukou in 1932. The state of Manchukou was formed after the Japanese seized control of large tracts of land in Manchuria and Inner Mongolia after the Mukden Incident. They installed the last emperor of the Qing Dynasty as the puppet ruler of the region as a pure marketing maneouver, giving him no real authority. The League of Nations stated that the area rightfully belonged to China. Japan promptly withdrew... from the League. After World War II, the city came under Russian control for a couple of years before falling into Chinese hands again. The Imperial Palace is now a museum which recreates Puyi's daily life there during these tumultuous times.


*****

Puyi: Is it true, Mr. Johnston, that many people out there have had their heads cut off? 
Reginald Fleming Johnston: It is true, your majesty. Many heads have been chopped off. It does stop them thinking. 
- from Bernardo Bertolucci's 'The Last Emperor'

May 27, 2011

The Yoga Conversation

Once I had a lengthy conversation with a beautiful Chinese girl in English. Because of the language barrier, the subject matter had to be kept simple and the sentences short. Despite my best efforts at speaking slowly and clearly, we still ended up with a different understanding of the topic we were discussing in depth.

Me: Do you like yoga?
Her: Yes, I like.
Me: So you do a lot of yoga?
Her: Yes.
Me: By yourself? Or in a group?
Her: By myself.
Me: How long have you been interested in yoga?
Her: Since child.
Me: What do you usually wear?
Her: Just normal clothe.
Me: Where do you usually go for yoga?
Her: Restaurant.
Me: Restaurant?
Her: Yes, below my apartment. I mean food store.
Me: OK..
Her: You like yogurt too?

*****

"A system of exercises for attaining bodily or mental control and well-being" - Merriam Webster's definition of yoga

"A fermented slightly acid often flavored semisolid food made of milk and milk solids to which cultures of two bacteria have been added" - Merriam Webster's definition of yogurt

May 26, 2011

The China Checklist


I compiled a comprehensive list of destinations which I explored in my two years in China. It is the second longest thing I have ever seen, yet it only covers around 60% of the places of interest in the Middle Kingdom that I would like to visit.
*****

"I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list." - Susan Sontag

May 24, 2011

Dumb Girls

One of the guys I supervised at work used to make the same mistake repeatedly. I inquired as to why.

Coworker: You know I am dumb.
Me: I only like dumb people who are pretty girls.
Coworker: Pretty girls are dumb if they like you.

May 20, 2011

In Elite Company

I tried in vain to convince a smart Chinese girl that the wonderfulness of a girl is independent of her intelligence level. She commented disdainfully on my weakness for air headed beauties"What a shame if an elite were to marry a stupid woman".