May 27, 2011

The Yoga Conversation

Once I had a lengthy conversation with a beautiful Chinese girl in English. Because of the language barrier, the subject matter had to be kept simple and the sentences short. Despite my best efforts at speaking slowly and clearly, we still ended up with a different understanding of the topic we were discussing in depth.

Me: Do you like yoga?
Her: Yes, I like.
Me: So you do a lot of yoga?
Her: Yes.
Me: By yourself? Or in a group?
Her: By myself.
Me: How long have you been interested in yoga?
Her: Since child.
Me: What do you usually wear?
Her: Just normal clothe.
Me: Where do you usually go for yoga?
Her: Restaurant.
Me: Restaurant?
Her: Yes, below my apartment. I mean food store.
Me: OK..
Her: You like yogurt too?

*****

"A system of exercises for attaining bodily or mental control and well-being" - Merriam Webster's definition of yoga

"A fermented slightly acid often flavored semisolid food made of milk and milk solids to which cultures of two bacteria have been added" - Merriam Webster's definition of yogurt

May 26, 2011

The China Checklist


I compiled a comprehensive list of destinations which I explored in my two years in China. It is the second longest thing I have ever seen, yet it only covers around 60% of the places of interest in the Middle Kingdom that I would like to visit.
*****

"I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list." - Susan Sontag

May 24, 2011

Dumb Girls

One of the guys I supervised at work used to make the same mistake repeatedly. I inquired as to why.

Coworker: You know I am dumb.
Me: I only like dumb people who are pretty girls.
Coworker: Pretty girls are dumb if they like you.

May 20, 2011

In Elite Company

I tried in vain to convince a smart Chinese girl that the wonderfulness of a girl is independent of her intelligence level. She commented disdainfully on my weakness for air headed beauties"What a shame if an elite were to marry a stupid woman".

May 18, 2011

A Time For Change

After two years at Interone, I decided to ride off into the sunset and return to Vancouver. Before I left Beijing, I cleaned my room for the first time. In China, retailers and other persons involved in commercial activities never seem to have any change for the 100 RMB notes that are dispersed by the ATM's. Any occasion to break up a large bill into smaller notes and coins must be seized. This solves the problem of not having any change, but the issue of having too much soon rises as I stockpile smaller denominations. A continuous struggle exists to maintain an equilibrium between an empty pocket and a healthy collection of loose change to meet the daily needs of an individual.


When I returned home at night, I would empty my pockets of any remaining currency. The bills would float gracefully to the floor, awaiting the tender touch of my fingertips the next morning. Before leaving for work, I would pick out the crispest of the notes and stuff them into my pocket for a new day. Over the years, a surplus of small change congregated on my apartment room floor. I collected all the money I could find into a plastic bag. I used this lump sum to pay for my farewell lunch for around 20 colleagues. The waiter gave up on counting the cash, so my coworkers divied up the bills and did the accounting work for him. Once the bill was paid, I still had a lot left over.

*****

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." - Barack Obama