Shady Business

I was meeting a friend so that we could visit the newly opened Starlight Casino in Queensborough. One of the restaurants there had been recommended. As I was getting into my friend's car I viciously collided into the side door frame of his vehicle. A *crack* sound resonated through the September sky. It was not my head that had been split in two, but my spectacles. The left arm had snapped cleanly off the rest of the frame.

I had misjudged the height of the vehicle, believing it to be of regular height when in fact it was quiet low. The collision caused no damage to the offending car, so no insurance claims were filed. The impact was strong enough to cause severe damage to my eyewear. My friend laughed with unabandonded glee at my misfortune for several minutes straight. He even phoned some of our other friends to tell them of my mishap, tears forming under his eyes as he shook uncontrollably whilst recounting the incident. Several more bursts of laughter followed, his mirth untouched by compassion for his fellow man.

The only store in the vicintiy selling glasses was Wal-Mart. I showed the optician my new pair of monocles and asked if he could fuse them together. He studied them carefully before coming to the conclusion that he could not. He scotch-taped them together, but they soon dislocated. At the restaurant I could not read the menu or see my food properly, relying on my other senses for guidance. We then went to another friend's house where I was barely able to watch the debut of the new version of 90210 on television.

I would have to wear sunglasses indoors and out for many days thereafter until my new glasses arrived.

The Pursuit of Happiness

The importance of tasty food and natural beauty can never be overemphasized when gauging the general level of happiness experienced by the people of a city, province, or country. I celebrated British Columbia Day by going to Vancouver's tastiest vegeterian buffet. Saravana Bhavan is a worldwide chain of restaurants serving South Indian staples offering a "synergy of taste and quality". While the quality of the food at the Vancouver branch is comparable to average fare available anywhere in India, it vaults into the upper echelon of Indian restaurants in the city. I had several dosas and finished my meal with a cup of filtered coffee.

I headed off to Charleston Park near Granville Island after my lunch. The park is a haven of the rich, both in accumulated capital and leisure time. It offers a grand view of the False Creek skyline, with the residential condominiums that have sprung up across the waterway in Yaletown serving as a backdrop. Yachts are docked along the shoreline, beautiful women are tanning, and ducks are floating in the pond in this idyllic locale.

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“There is no such thing as the pursuit of happiness, but there is the discovery of joy” - Joyce Grenfell

Short Tracked

The Pacific Coliseum will be hosting short track speed skating events during the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games. The Vancouver stage of the ISU World Cup Short Track competition was held as a test event for the venue. Learning experience taken from this competition can be applied to the big show so that everything runs as smoothly as possible when 2010 rolls along. Every detail from how the event was organized to the track conditions on ice to the performance of the ice miesters will be painstakingly analyzed to see what can be improved.

Only the lower bowl was opened to the public, with a surprisingly large concentration of Koreans. The rest of the fans had Canadian, American, Chinese, and Japanese origins. Skaters from these nationalities were also the ones in medal contention. There were individual men's and women's races of 500, 1000, and 1500 meters and men's and women's relays of 3000 and 5000 meters. Canada finished with a medal count of 6 (1 gold, 3 silver, and 2 bronze). They narrowly missed out on a gold in the exciting grand finale of the show. Apollo Ohno, the world's most famous short track skater, powered the US team to the slimmest of victories over the Canadians. The fetching female skaters wore form fitting outfits made of cut resistant material. I refrained from doing the same, maintaining a low profile throughout the competition so as not to affect the results.

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"That's the beauty of our sport. On any given Sunday, anybody can win." - Apollo Ohno

Sinkhole

The third longest underground river in the world runs through Puerto Rico. The Rio Camuy is covered by an intricate system of caves. Currently the public is not allowed into the caves to see the subterranean spectacle, but other wonders await within the Parque de las Cavernas del Rio Camuy. There are two massive sinkholes in the area. The larger one, Tres Pueblos Sinkhole, is 400 feet deep and 650 feet in diameter. A trolley takes tourists around the sinkhole, stopping in each quadrant for a different view of the gaping void and the river below. Early inhabitants of Puerto Rico used the site as a garbage dump, since they could just toss rubbish into the basin and it disappeared from sight. Now the Rio Camuy Caves Park is a protected area.

The Spiral Sinkhole is smaller and more accessible by foot. A staircase has been built that allows visitors to descend the 200 steps into a lost world. The flora and fauna differs vastly from the world above. A glimpse into a foreboding cavern is available from near the bottom of the sinkhole. Hundreds of bats can be seen, heard, and smelt, hanging from the roof of the cave.

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“I am much mistaken, however, if he has not fine strata in his nature. He is capable of rising to heights as well as of sinking to depths.” - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of The Lost World

Roaches

Apart from mosquitoes and birds, my third main nemesis in India was the cockroach. No matter how many I disposed of, dozens would spring up to replace their fallen brethren. Many came into direct contact with the soles of my sandals. Others were coated with toxic subtances emitted by cans of bug spray. Some were flushed down the drain, swirling into oblivion. The objectionable creatures were resilient, surviving even after taking considerable punishment. They hid in my cabinet and under my bed, in the shower and under my bedsheets. They lived in my room and in my nightmares. Being an amicable fellow, I never deliberately hunted them down. Our coexistence was peaceful until they disturbed my serenity. They would rear their ugly heads when I least expected it, forcing me into taking defensive measures for the protection of my sanity.

Studies have shown that the antibodies needed to fight of cocroach allergens makes people more susceptible to asthma and other allergies. They are the ultimate survivors, having randomized escape patterns so that their enemies cannot predict their trajectories. Most horrific of all were the cockroaches that could fly. Combining their powers of indestructibiliy with airborne capabilities, they made for a very formidable foe. The epic struggle escalated. Usually every room in an India room has at least one resident gecko responsible for insect control. I enlisted the aid of these little lizards called 'tik-tikis'. They thoroughly enjoyed munching on the disgusting critters.