Conversations with K-girls: Handsome Men

K-girl: Why are all American men sooo handsome?

Me: No, no, no. First of all, I am not an American. I am a Canadian and I am out of the ordinary. Not everyone is handsome. 

K-girl: But... all American men are so handsome.

The Basque Country

Alain, a friend of mine, hosted me in Bilboa for a couple of days. I had first met Alain in China, while sailing the Li River near Yangshuo. We met again in Beijing to feast on some balls. He met me at the Bilbao train station as I rolled into town from Barcelona. Bilbao is the largest city in the Basque Country, which spans several provinces in Spain and parts of France.

We spent the first day exploring the city proper. Bilboa has buses, trams, a metro system, and even a funicular that transports passengers up a mountainside. Bilboa's most noteworthy landmark is the Guggenheim Museum. The titanium sheathed masterpiece was designed by the Canadian architect Frank Gehry, who is also the man behind the Experience Music Project in Seattle. The museum revitalized Bilbao's riverside, brought in millions of tourist euros, and set a new standard for contemporary architecture.

On the second day we explored the surroundings in Alain's car. Castillo de Butrón is a fine medieval castle tucked away amidst some hills, while Bermeo is a quiet fishing village with a picturesque port. We crossed the oldest operational transporter bridge in the world at Portugalete. My favourite part of the road trip was exploring San Juan de Gaztelugatxe, a 10th century hermitage perched atop an islet.

We dined at some of the finest restaurants in the region. Lunch was at a traditional restaurant that oozed character, housed within a former mill. Dinner was in the exquisite beach town of San Sebastien. The former royal resort is located only 20 kilometers from the French border. Like plastic surgery clinics in Seoul, Michelin starred restaurants can be found on almost any street corner in San Sebastien.

*****

“Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone.” – The Dhammapada

Lingua España

Minutes before the clock struck midnight (GMT+1), I landed in Barcelona. I caught a bus to Plaza Catalunya, the epicentre of the city. My hostel was less than fifty meters from where I was standing, but no one had a clue when I asked them for the street on which it was located. The English skills were painfully lacking, mirroring the level found in China and South Korea. 

However, there were some people who spoke English to me that night. Among them were the hostel staff, African guys offering to sell me drugs, and Pakistani guys offering to sell me everything else. All the inhabitants of Spain are not monolingual though, as many languages are in use within the country. 

In Barcelona, Catalan is the language of choice. The majority of the nation speaks Castinal, which is what is commonly referred to as Spanish. Both these Romance languages are easy to understand, or at least to read, for a man of my linguistic capabilities. By combining my vaunted English skills with the rudimentary French I had learnt in school, it was simple enough to make out what was written on the signage.

Bilboa is Basque country. The Basque language, Euskara, is completely unrelated to the Romance languages. It is a language isolate like Korean, as no identifiable ancestor language from which it could have descended from has been pinpointed so far. There are tales of Viking marauders leaving behind traces of their language in the Basque region, but many other theories about its origins are also in circulation. 

*****

"You have the same birthday as me! You must be a good person." - Portuguese beauty staffing the hostel check-in counter

Conversations with K-girls: Black Haired Boy

Beautiful 7-11 cashier: Where are you from?

Me: Canada.

7-11: But... brown... why?

Me: Why brown skin?

7-11: No... black hair, why? Canada people have brown hair.

Me: No, many different colours are possible. Blond hair, black hair, brown hair.

7-11: Oh.

Me: Happy new year.

7-11: Happy new year! Byeeeee. Kekekekekeke....

Arnab's Year in Cities, 2012

The story arc of our lovable hero in 2012 saw me wrap up my humanitarian activities in Mumbai and relocate to Seoul to resume my career in the ad industry. I stopped over in Singapore on the way to Seoul, spent several days in Tokyo to pick up my South Korean work visa, and visited an old friend from high school in Taiwan.

The bulk of my travel this year was in the Old World. I scratched my European itch and emptied my bank account with four separate trips to the continent. This caused great consternation among Korean beauties, as it hampered my ability to buy them luxury handbags and gourmet coffee. While on my company trip, we spent a day exploring Munich in Germany before crossing over the border and the Alps into Austria. I also visited the Vatican from Rome.

I set foot in the Middle East for the first time, albeit unplanned, as a missed flight connection gave me the opportunity to spend a day in Bahrain. The Naminara Republic became the first micro-nation that I made my way to. The privately owned island declared its independence from South Korea in 2006, primarily to attract tourist attention. 

This year I stayed overnight in 31 cities, spread out over 10 nations. A couple of countries and many cities are unaccounted for on this list, as I did not spend a night in them. South Korea is a geographically small nation with an efficient transportation system, so most places in the peninsula can be visited on day trips from Seoul. 

The 2012 List 

• Ahmedabad, India
• Barcelona, Spain
• Baroda, India
• Bhopal, India
• Bilbao, Spain
• Burhanpur, India
• Florence, Italy
• Göreme, Turkey
• Granada, Spain
• Istanbul, Turkey
• Jejusi, South Korea
• Jeonju, South Korea
• Kolkata, India
• Madrid, Spain
• Manama, Bahrain
• Mokpo, South Korea
• Mumbai, India
• New Delhi, India
• Ranchi, India
• Rome, Italy
• Selçuk, Turkey
• Seoul, South Korea
• Singapore
• Sokcho, South Korea
• Suncheon, South Korea
• Taipei, Taiwan
• Tokyo, Japan
• Ulsan, South Korea
• Venice, Italy
• Wando, South Korea
• Wolfgangsee, Austria

Past years - 2011, 2010, 2009, and 2008

*****

"A man grows most tired while standing still." ~ Chinese proverb

Conversations with K-girls: Pretty Good

K-girl: My English is awful. I hate English! You should learn Korean.

Me: Your English is pretty good.

K-girl: Pretty girl? Thank you.

Dhobi Ghat

Multiply the number of people living in a city as populous as Mumbai by the number of their clothes that need to be washed every day. The amount is staggeringly high, like the percentage of women in South Korea who have had plastic surgery. An elaborate system has evolved over the years to handle the needs of masses to have their garments washed efficiently and economically. 

Delivery boys pick up clothes from homes and stores across town and bring them to dhobis to be washed. Dhobis wash clothes for a living, often manually. Once the clothes have been washed, dried, and ironed they make their way back into the hands of their respective owners. Rarely does a garment end up in the wrong hands.

In the apartment I shared with at least 13 other men, there was always a heap of clothing in the living room. Whenever anyone wanted something washed, they could add their clothes to the pile. A few days later the clothes would be washed and pressed. I would pay a few rupees to the landlord or one of his many acolytes, and would collect my clothes.

The largest concentration of clothes washers in Mumbai is found at Dhobi Ghat, located beside the Mahalaxmi railway station. The world's largest open air laundromat is quite popular with tourists and filmmakers alike, providing an unforgettable glimpse into what makes India a place like no other. The dhobis start their work early in the morning, following the daily rhythms of washing, drying, and ironing with orchestral precision. 

Candid Camera

As an international heartthrob, it is not out of the ordinary when I am stopped on the street for a quick photo by people I do not know in places such as China and Korea. One day, I looked out my office window in Seoul and caught sight of a beautiful girl across the street. She was holding a camera, with the lens pointed in my general direction.

Me: Look! That girl is taking my picture.  

German colleague: Arnab, Arnab, Arnab. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with you?

Korean colleague: Or what is wrong with the girl?

Prince of Putrajaya

While spending a few days in Kuala Lumpur with some old friends from my Beijing days, we went on a drive to Putrajaya. Located 25km away from Kuala Lumpur, the planned city is meant to function as the administrative center of Malaysia's federal government. Putrajaya is like Canberra with flair, as the architecture blends Islamic motifs with modern design patterns.

The city is well laid out with wide roads and ample open spaces. The buildings primarily serve administrative, religious, or residential purposes, with the Putra Mosque and the Palace of Justice among my favourites. I did not see many areas set aside for commercial activity, but then that is not the primary motivation for the construction of this city. A neighbouring planned community called Cyberjaya will be geared towards enterprises.

First established in 1995, the idea behind the founding of Putrajaya was to relieve the congestion in overcrowded Kuala Lumpur by relocating the government servants to a nearby locale. It is named after Malaysia's first prime minister, but the literal translation of Putrajaya is prince's victory. As I saw my handsome visage reflecting on the shimmering waters of the lake in the middle of the city, there remained little doubt that a prince was indeed present.

*****

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.You can’t get there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing what you’re doing. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover will be yourself." – Alan Alda

Conversations with K-girls: Not on the Menu

The conversation with a Korean beauty began normally enough with the questions of where I come from and why do I look the way I do. Things looked promising when she reached for the menu from the bar counter. I thought she was looking for a drink to order, but several minutes passed by uneventfully. I asked what she was looking for, and she replied that she was just reading the menu.

The minute hand on the clock moved several more times. I was unsure of what was happening. Was she pretending to read the menu to avoid further interaction? Or was she just an excruciatingly slow reader since English was not her first language? The answer was made crystal clear when she put down the menu and walked away without even a goodbye.

*****

"Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer." - Mark Amend

Sailing to Byzantium

On our first full day in Istanbul a tout sold us a ticket to a Bosphorus cruise, guiding us to the vessel and telling us that it would leave within a few minutes. Over an hour and a half later we were on our way, sailing through the straight that divides one city and unites two continents. On one end of the Bosphorus is the Black Sea, and on the other is the Sea of Marmara. On one side is Europe, and on the other is Asia.

As the only waterway connecting the Black Sea to the Mediterranean, the straight has always played a strategic role in the region. The Byzantine and Ottoman Empires came and went, temporarily centring themselves here while ruling over significant portions of Europe, Asia, and Africa. Byzantium gave way to Constantinople and then to Istanbul. Through it all the Bosphorus retained its importance, its blue waters beautifying the city materially and spiritually.

As we sailed along the Bosphorus, loud Turkish pop music blared from the ship's speakers. It was momentarily turned off as the muezzins call for prayers echoed through the straight from the many mosques dotting both sides of the Bosphorus. We sailed under a bridge connecting Asia to Europe and vice versa, constructed fifty years after the founding of the Republic of Turkey yet dreamed of since antiquity. Along the banks, groups of fat old men enjoyed a dip in the waters.

Layer upon layer of history and happenstance was visible in the high density neighbourhoods we sailed past. As we drifted further from the centre of Istanbul, we saw many palatial residences adorning the water way. Some residences were restored and opened to tourists. Others had been converted into elaborate wedding halls or luxurious hideaways for the rich and famous.

*****

And therefore I have sailed the seas and come

To the holy city of Byzantium.

~ William Butler Yeats

Turkish Delights

I had wanted to visit Turkey for a long time, its transcontinental allure appealing to my East-meets-West lifestyle. I landed in Istanbul on a late August night, taking a ten day break from my work in Seoul to make my Turkish dream come true. My parents flew in from Vancouver, and we enjoyed some family time together. The hotel I had reserved in Istanbul was overbooked, so without having set a foot in its lobby we were shuffled onto a black van and dropped off at another pension. 

The next day we enjoyed the life and beauty of Istanbul, before heading off for a few days to see some of the natural and historic wonders of the land - Ephesus, Pamukkale, and Cappadocia. None of them disappointed. We returned to a flag-covered Istanbul on the Turkish independence day Zafer Bayrami and capped off the trip here several days later. We traveled between towns mostly via overnight buses. The in-bus service was exceptional, with regular snacks and refreshments brought to passengers by the attendant.

As far as negative aspects are concerned, the travel infrastructure was sound but far from spectacular. Signage was poor and maps were hard to come by. The only people happily giving directions were shopkeepers or touts. The English level was surprisingly poor, although not at the cringe worthy levels of China and South Korea. The food, at least in the tourist areas, was nothing special. The tea was lovely though.

Traveling around was not too cheap, as the cost of goods and services leaned more towards the European side of the ledger than to the Asian side. Among the womenfolk there were a few stunners, but Turkey does not boast the across the board talent level of South Korean girls nor the Miss Worlds and Miss Universes found in the upper end of the Indian spectrum. People who have just met me often assume I am a Turkish man, so it is safe to say they are rather good looking. 

*****

"I don't like Turkish type man. They are too agressive with Asian face women." - Taiwanese girl I met in China

You Don't Know Girls Still

Some people turn to their friends and family when they need help. Many search the Internet for answers. A few write letters to newspaper columnists. Others approach subject matter experts directly.  In my case this would mean Korean men. I explained my unfortunate situation to them:

"K-girls do not appreciate my jokes. Sarcasm flies over their beautifully sculpted heads. Teasing offends them. Regular conversation bores them. What should I talk to them about?"

The first Korean man I asked provided a weak response, greatly underestimating the brilliant minds to be found within their ravishing frames:

"Talk to them about something simple… like kimchi. Before making a joke, warn them that you are about to tell a joke."

The second Korean man I asked turned the question on its head, revealing his silent strategy for success:

"You don't know about girls still. Just hear what she say and drink a lot. Save your word. Just show your smile and generous emotion. Then she want to lean to you. Girls like to talk everything, so just hear what she say and understand her and hug her and kiss and go to motel. Game end!"

*****

"Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful" - J. Marine

The Superficial

Korean man: Was it just your opinion?

Me: What was my opinion?

Korean man: That you are best guy in the room.

Me: No, it's a fact... but if you can show me a Korean guy who is my age with 8 years work experience  spread across 4 different countries, who can understand parts of 6 languages, has been to 30 countries, has helped children in India, is technically gifted, a brilliant writer, smart, handsome, funny, responsible, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink much, doesn't visit prostitutes, cooks, doesn't beat girls, and with high earning potential, then you can get back to me.

Korean man: Kekeke*. I already knew that how smart you are, but you always ignore about that style is very important to Korean girls.

Me: They should look at the substance and character of a man.

Korean man: But you are same. At that first meet, you always check girls appearance. That is same.

* The onomatopoeic representation of Korean laughter (ㅋㅋㅋ)

DMZ: Joint Security Area

The Joint Security Area (JSA) is a high security area within the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) that divides North and South Korea. Also referred to as Panmunjeom, it was the spot where the historic armistice agreement between the Communist forces and the United Nations Command  (UNC) was signed in 1953. Negotiations between the two sides of the divided nation take place here. International visitors, but not Korean civilians, can take a tour of the area under the auspices of the USO, a non profit organization that aims to boost the morale of American troops stationed around the globe.

 I had checked in with my passport at the Yongsan Military Base in Seoul and then boarded the tour bus. The American guy sitting beside me turned out to be a startup founder working out of his laptop and also seeing a bit of the world at the same time. The bus rolled into Camp Bonifas in the afternoon after stops at the Third Infiltration Tunnel and Dorasan. Outside the bright blue meeting rooms of Panmunjeom, South Korean guards in traditional taekwondo poses stared down their North Korean counterparts.

We watched an informative presentation on the history of the JSA by an American soldier, and heard stories about North Korean axe murderers and defectors. The "Axe Murder Incident" took place when several American soldiers went out to cut down a poplar tree that was blocking the line of sight between a checkpoint and a guard post. The North Koreans objected to this unilateral decision, and attacked the Americans en masse. The camp is named after Arthur Bonifas, one of the two men killed in the skirmish.

We passed by some landmarks within the JSA like the Daeseongdong Freedom Village and the Bridge of No Return. Used for prisoner exchange, the infamous bridge is so named because this is where Korean soldiers had to make an irreversible decision of which side they wanted to go to - the North or the South. The Military Demarcation Line (MDL) dividing the two states intersects the bridge. Every once in a while North Korean soldiers try to nab an UNC soldier and drag him over the bridge to the other side.

The residents of the Freedom Village enjoy the highest average earnings in Korea since they are not taxed on the income they generate from farming. The men of the village are also exempt from fulfilling the two years of military duty that is usually mandatory for Korean men. The village men can marry ladies from outside the village, but men are not allowed to marry into the village. Like Korean beauties who live with their parents, the villagers have a strict curfew and their movements are closely monitored.

*****

"At the end of the day, we must go forward with hope and not backward by fear and division." - Jesse Jackson

Conversations With K-girls: Not Working

Although more interrogation than conversation due to the language barrier, engaging in dialogue with a Korean beauty is always a memorable experience.

Me: What did you study in university?
K-girl: Mathematics.
Me: Where do you work?
K-girl: I work Monday to Friday. Not tonight.

*****

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart."  - Nelson Mandela