June 01, 2008

Commode Comments

After relieving the past, James provides a Vancouverites perspectives on the natural eruptive desires of man:

"In Canada, there's always been a fine balance between honoring the KYBO principle and suppressing an urge in order to find an appropriate locale to curl one's morning biscuit. Typically the balance is swayed one way or the other depending on several factors. Location: are you in the outback, or the city? Alcohol consumption: drunk-off-your face, or sober? Thus, if you're off-your-face in the woods, then it's entirely appropriate to release where the bears roam. However, being sober in the city requires considerably more self-control.

To complete the matrix... Being faced in the city often lowers inhibitions enough to make that alleyway entrance a great option. Vancouver's Granville St. or DTE will attest to the popularity of KYBO enthusiasts in this city. Sober in the woods? No problems there. We are well endowed with an abundance of wide open space.

In summary, we in Canada are only restricted when in the city and sober. Thus I think any office worker, or I.T. professional, who drops a morning dook in an alley on Georgia St. during coffee break is truly a vanguard in his/her time."

  • THe "Keep Your Bowels Open" principle refers to the usage of an outhouse or similar structure with a hole in it to deposit internally generated waste products.
  • The Downtown Eastside, one of the oldest and most interesting neighbourhoods in Vancouver, contains several alleyways that can provide a purveyor of plop with a steady dose of example excretions to mimic.