Dumb Bus, Smart Bus, Empty Bus

In Beijing it is not an uncommon sight to see a caravan of identically numbered buses arrive at a bus stop one after the other. For example, bus #31 will be immediately followed by another bus #31 and yet another bus #31. This is often followed by a very long wait until the next cluster of buses arrive.

Each bus departs their starting point at regularly scheduled intervals, say every 10 minutes. At the first stop the mass of transit users converge on the first bus and try to get on board before everyone else. The pushing and shoving lasts approximately 1-3 minutes. Traffic also moves at an Arnab's pace in Beijing. During this time, the second bus on the same route has left the bus station and is now only around 10 minutes behind. Repeat this pattern a couple of more times, and by the second or third stop on the route the two buses are together. Another one to two stops later, all three buses will be within striking distance of each other. The cycle repeats after every 3 buses since by then another huge group of riders has gathered at the bus stop.

The swarm that enters the first bus leaves it packed to the brim. People are squashed against the windows and doors. All the seats on the second bus fill up quickly, but there is room to comfortably stand for the stragglers. The third bus obligatorily stops at each designated spot, but since 95% of the passengers have already boarded one of the two previous buses that arrived in the past minute it is left mostly empty. It is difficult to predict the change in arrival times that would take place if ridership was evenly distributed amongst the three buses, but at the very least the ride would be a lot more comfortable for most people.

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"I'd rather go by bus." - Prince Charles

Hockey Morning in China

Hockey Night in Canada is a national institution. Every Saturday night, millions of hockey fans gather around their TV sets to watch the action on the ice and listen to a belligerent Don Cherry rant on Coach's Corner during the intermissions. As China is half a day ahead of Canada, I had the chance to catch a few of Vancouver's playoff games live the following morning. The Irish Volunteer, a pub in Beijing, was showing the games on TV using Slingbox video streaming technology. I watched the final two losses of Vancouver's season as they were eliminated by Chicago in 6 games after blowing a 2-1 series lead.

Vancouver's National Hockey League (NHL) team is called the Canucks. 'Canuck' is slang for 'Canadian'. The professional hockey team has a storied history of losing since it joined the league in 1970 as an expansion franchise. It has twice reached the Stanley Cup finals, but failed to secure a championship on either trip. The Stanley Cup is the most difficult sporting competition in the world. Four rugged rounds of best-of-7 series are played over a two month span, with the athletes playing through a myriad of injuries (broken bones, cracked ribs, concussions, etc.) for a chance to lift Lord Stanley's Cup. Power, skill, teamwork, and determination are demonstrated by the players of the coolest game on Earth on a nightly basis.

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Canadian Guy #1: I cannot believe that you didn't bring your hockey gear with you when you came to China!
Canadian Guy #2: My luggage had weight restrictions.
Canadian Guy #1: You could have left your wife at home then.

The Terracotta Warriors

I arrived in Xi'an on the same day that the excavations at the final resting place of the Terracotta Army restarted after a gap of over 20 years. After getting off the train and finding a hostel, my fellow travelers and I caught a bus to the necropolis. We saw thousands of life sized figures as soon as we arrived, but they turned out to be tourists.

A long walk awaited us before we finally reached the three pits containing the Terracotta Warriors. After entering a large warehouse, we came face to face with rows and rows of terracotta soldiers and horses. Discovered by peasants digging a well in 1974, the figures were constructed two centuries before the birth of Christ. The Terracotta Army protects China's first emperor in his journey through the afterlife. The statues have different expressions on their faces as craftsmen sculpted each uniquely. Many have lost body parts or weapons. Some of the horse figurines have lost their tail, leaving an embarrassing hole in their posterior.

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"It's worth much more than you pay for it." - Slogan on poster seen within the Terracotta Army tomb complex

Lonely Planet

After my presentation at Peking University concluded and before my Q&A period had commenced, I had been instructed by the organizers to ask the audience a trivia question related to my speech to make sure they had been following what I had been mumbling.

In true Slumdog Millionaire style, I provided four multiple choice options. Many hands went up in the crowd. I selected one eager individual and he answered my question correctly. One of the event organizers came up to me and handed me a Lonely Planet travel guide. The chap who had correctly answered my query ran up to me and vigorously shook my hand. I reciprocated before waving to the adoring audience and walking off the podium.

They immediately burst into laughter.

The Lonely Planet book was actually the prize for the person who was first to answer my question properly. I handed the book to my hand shaker, who was still waiting on stage to collect his reward. A female fan later told me that I had a severe case of the ARNABlushes during the incident, with my ears turning bright red.

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"The world, I found, has a way of taking a man pretty much at his own rating. If he permits his loss to make him embarrassed and apologetic, he will draw embarrassment from others. But if he gains his own respect, the respect of those around him comes easily." - Alexander de Seversky

Q and A

After my speech at Peking University concluded I ate Indian food with chopsticks for the first time. A newly opened Indian restaurant in the student area had generously provided dinner to all the attendees of the seminar. After finishing my meal and posing for a few photographs, I was rushed back on stage. It was time to answer some questions from the audience. The Q&A portion of my inaugural lecture at an institute of higher education drew great interest.

1. What is the religious composition of India?

The computational knowledge engine known as Wolfram Alpha spit out the following facts:

80.5% Hindu       
13.4% Muslim                                          
2.3% Christian
1.9% Sikh
1.9% Others (Buddhist, Jain, etc.)

They were in line with the estimates provided by myself using the computational knowledge engine known as the ARNABrain.

2. Are there really cows on the street? (The girl asking this warned me beforehand that it would be a "cute" question.)

Yes, there are many cows to be found on the streets of India. Delhi is supposed to have at least 40,000 holy cows wandering its streets alone. The blessed bovines are revered by Hindus, so they are free to roam the roads unharmed. 

3. Why does India have significantly more developed IT and bio tech sectors than China?

This was the toughest question of the bunch, warranting further investigation. I muttered a convulated answer about how China has much greater infrastructure than India and equivalent educational instituitions, but is severely lagging behind in English language skills and in the free flow of information and knowledge that is continually transferred between India and the West.

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“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.” -  Voltaire