Ice Fishing at Hwacheon

My fishing skills are about as well honed as the critical thinking abilities of an average South Korean youth. Nevertheless, I could not pass up the opportunity to visit the annual ice fishing festival in Hwacheon. The region is the first part of South Korea to freeze over in winter time. After a hearty dakgalbi luncheon at Chuncheon and a scenic drive past snow covered hills and frozen lakes, I arrived at the site of the Hwacheon Sancheoneo (Mountain Trout)  Festival.

The well organized event is a heavy favourite of young families. The lengthy sheet of ice that plays host to the festival is divided up into plots with separate entrances so that the crowds are distributed evenly across the frozen surface of Hwacheoncheon. Fishing equipment is readily available at stalls beside the entrances, although using bare hands is a fun alternative. The holes in the ice had already been dug, but I am unaware whether it was the handiwork of festival organizers or prior visitors. I tried several different holes of varying sizes.

Some of the 10,000 daily visitors were heavily invested into the activity, sticking their heads into the holes to see if they could catch a glimpse of any sea creatures. Others were more nonchalant about their participation in the festival. A K-girl was glued to her smartphone, operating the gigantic device with one hand and weakly holding the fishing rod with the other as if it was an overpriced vanilla latte. It was speculated that she was playing an addictive fishing game on her phone.

At regularly scheduled intervals a truck would pull up to the edge of the river bed. Festival staff would throw hundreds of trout transported from parts unknown into the water. A frenzy of activity would take place around this time, with many yelps of excitement emanating from attendees of indistinguishable gender as they celebrated their catch. The event is staged to ensure everyone comes out a winner, but despite an hour or so of focused effort and Korean office worker-like diligence I was unable to capture any trout.

*****

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. ~ Henry David Thoreau 

Mr. Toilet and the House of Poo Poo

In Beijing, I once visited a poop themed restaurant. The seats were life-sized toilets, and the covers could be lifted up to see if a special brown souvenir had been left behind. Instead of tissues, there was a toilet paper dispenser. The food itself was not feces flavoured, although it was still crappy. It was served in miniature toilets. An artificial turd was affixed to the bottom of each cup, emerging into view only after the drinker had almost finished their beverage.

The Koreans and the Chinese seem to share this love of turds, as the city of Suwon boasts a toilet museum as one of its top three tourist attractions. I have also seen several eateries around Korea selling dung shaped desserts.

The toilet museum is dedicated to a former mayor of Suwon who was reported to have been born in an outhouse. Sim Jae-duck, aka Mr. Toilet, had encouraged the construction of many public toilets in the city. He also helped established the World Toilet Organization (WTO) to promote the worthy cause of global sanitation.

I dropped by the manure museum near closing time, so I could only experience the well fertilized grounds. I did not have time to enter the house that Mr. Toilet built, missing out on a chance to see the winning entries of the first annual Golden Poop Painting Contest. This year's theme was 'Humorous Poop'.

The outdoor sculptures are a sight to behold, with the ecstasies and agonies of defecating etched into each man, woman, and child's face for all eternity. One exhibit was about the legendary ddong dwaeji of Jeju, a pig that fattens itself on man made brown gold before being eaten themselves. The black pigs are known for having extra flavour.

Turtle Island, Bali

I took a trip to Indonesia with two close friends from China. For our last day in the island paradise of Bali, we rented a car and driver to take us from Padang Bai to Kuta. When my two travel companions decided to head to a generic children's water park in Kuta, I swiftly distanced myself from them and headed for Turtle Island instead. This resort area is teeming with water sports activities and the aforementioned island has a collection of turtles and other local critters.

My Indonesian driver spoke English well and was a friendly guy. This fact is worthy of mention only since I was making a trip to Indonesia from South Korea, where even a PHD candidate in English Literature can have significant trouble composing full sentences without consulting an electronic dictionary. We discussed topics such as Bollywood movies, family life, and other deep subjects. He joined me on the boat ride to Turtle Island as he had never visited it either. Once out in open water, I took the helm and piloted a boat for the first time.

I had not expected to indulge in water sports on this day, so I did not have any aquatic wear with me. The resort staff provided me with a body hugging wet suit. As I walked to the beach, slowly running my fingers through my curly black hair, I drew many admiring glances. Tourists and locals alike licked their sun-chapped lips at the sight of my toned figure. Since I was in a wetsuit I was allowed to enter the pool where gigantic turtles lazed about. I also had close encounters with snakes, bats, and Komodo dragons.

It turned out to be a day of firsts, as I also tried out a jet-ski (e.g. SeaDoo) and scuba walking. Of the two, I much preferred the freedom and excitement of a jet-ski compared to the constricted environment of scuba walking. For those that do not have any scuba diving certification, scuba walking is the next best thing. I was transported to a platform in the middle of the sea and equipped with a massive dome shaped helmet. Something that resembled a toilet seat was put around my neck to seal the space between the helmet and the top of my wetsuit, so that no water could seep in. A tube attached to an air canister was also attached to my back and I was lowered into the sea.

Looking like a cross between a Russian cosmonaut and a string puppet, I went down a ladder from the platform and then dropped to the sea floor. Although its not possible to go down to any significant depths while scuba walking, I was still submerged beyond my comfort level. With the large helmet weighing me down, I swayed back and forth like a drunken sailor as I walked the seabed and witnessed schools of fishes swirling around me.

*****

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell. ~ Bill Copeland 

Hallasan - Climbing Korea's Highest Mountain

Jeju is an island off the south coast of peninsular Korea. It is the closest thing that South Korea has to a tropical paradise, making it an extremely popular yet still laid back travel destination. In the middle of the island is Hallasan, a gently sloping shield volcano that rises 2 kilometers into the sky. It is not the most beautiful mountain in the country, nor the toughest to summit, but it is the highest and thus worthy of a climb.

I was travelling Jeju with a Korean lady, a Dutchman, and an American guy. It took us around 8 hours to go up and down. The incline was very gradual and not particularly painful, but the decent was hard on the knees and felt far more tiring. The weather started off cooperating for the majority of the climb, but fog engulfed the mountain when we reached the peak. We waited a long time at the top but the clouds would not cooperate, robbing us of any stunning views. The crater at the top only had a small pool of water.

A heavy storm had recently hit Jeju, so the staircase up to the top of the mountain was a mangled pile of wooden debris. The rest of the trail was in good condition, with a couple of rest areas in between giving us a chance to mingle with the brightly dressed community of mature Koreans who adore hiking up mountains. One old timer kept pointing me out to his companions in between slurping his cup of instant noodles and taking swigs of soju, perhaps trying to recollect which magazine cover or billboard he had seen me on before.

Since we had come up one way and down another we were separated from our rental car. The taxi drivers were all in cahoots and not willing to use their meters, so we had a tough time making our way to the parking lot where we had originally started. Exhausted we made it back to Jeju City in time for dinner with some former students of my Korean friend, who is a teacher of business English to Korean professionals. While we enjoyed a delicious meal of barbecued black pork, a Jeju specialty, the students perspired heavily from the effort of having to communicate with foreigners, which is a Korean specialty.

*****

"Cliff! And then walked slowly down the mountain when you let go." - Warning sign posted on the trail

Conversations with K-girls: A Carless Mistake

K-girl who I just met: May I see your car?

Me (reaching for my wallet): Of course, you can see my card. Here you go.

K-girl: No, not your card! May I see your CAR?

Me: Oh...