Pubic Hair on Moles

Whether by choice or circumstance most Chinese men sport the clean shaven look. What is more surprising is that a select few have a single hair growing on their face. This solitary strand of hair springs out from the center of a mole, its floss-like texture shimmering under both natural and artifical light sources. I find such a sight hard to ignore.

Fortunately, the Cindy Crawford style beauty mark on my face is hairless. Upon further examination, I found a mole on my shoulder that had sprouted a singular follicle as well. It was lengthy, curly, and glossy. The foliage on the skin around it did not have the same thickness or sheen. The pubic nature of the hair may be explained by the fact that it has to be thicker and stronger than regular body hairs to be able to pop out through the dense surface of the mole.  

*****

"There's many a man has more hair than wit." - William Shakespeare

The World's Most Dangerous Road

While navigating through the information superhighway, I chanced upon on a listing of the world's most dangerous roads. My eyes scanned the list and widened as it reached the top. First position belonged to a road carved into the cliff side to reach the ancient village of Guoliangcun. The tiny outpost in Henan was only a combined overnight train ride, short bus ride, medium distance taxi ride, and shorter golf cart ride away from Beijing.

My travel partner and I arrived at dawn in the city of Xinxiang via train. We walked to the location of the bus stop, only to discover it was under excavation. The erstwhile grounds of the bus depot were to be transformed into a world class shopping facility. Several early rising locals watched us with bemused expressions as we tried to hail down whatever buses passed our way on the street in front. We wanted to get to the nearest town at the base of the world's most dangerous road. After several failed attempts to find a bus heading for Huixian, we entered a sinister looking taxi. I said the name of where I wanted to go to the taxi driver repeatedly until he started driving.

After several stalled attempts at conversion, the driver realized that I could not speak Chinese. Logically, he handed me a pen and piece of paper so I could write in Chinese where I wanted to go. I snarled with frustration, the paper combusting into flames under my fiery breathe. On the way to Huixian we picked up three separate individuals, diverting our route to drop each at their desired destinations. One of these fellow passengers muttered the same bus stop name that I had orated to the taxi driver. This elicited understanding, and the taxi driver repeated the same syllables that I had. Once we reached the deserted bus stop, we realized it would be a couple of hours before any minibuses that pass by the road to Guoliangcun would depart from the station.

We engaged in silent talks with our driver. He fashioned another piece of paper out of sheer willpower, upon which I drew one line and three dots. Dot 1 was where we started. Dot 2 was where we were. Dot 3 was where we wanted to go. We had already agreed to pay a certain amount for being ferried from Dot 1 (Xinxiang) to Dot 2 (Huixian). We then negotiated different pricing bundles based on extending the journey to Dot 3 (Guoliangcun), as well as returning to Dot 1 from Dot 3. After coming to an agreement we continued our journey towards the road of death.

*****

“The greater the fear, the nearer the danger.” ~ Danish proverb

Old Town of Lijiang

Lijiang is picture postcard perfect city in Yunnan. Magnificent estates are hidden among narrow knots of streets and a beautiful lake reflects the mountains behind it. Although Lijiang has 800 years of history, many of the ancient style dwellings in the town were actually built after a devastating earthquake in 1996 flattened many high rises in the area. Now a Chinese version of a Lord of the Rings movie set, the old town is dissected by narrow waterways and connected by quaint bridges. Sporting a maze of cobblestone paths, I was able to find my hostel with great difficulty.

The rulers of the Naxi tribe that inhabited Lijiang lived in the intricately designed and ornately decorated estate known as Mu's Mansion. With a sprawling courtyard and relaxing trails leading up to temples on a hill side behind the complex, the mansion provides some room to breathe compared to the claustrophobic alleys and tight living quarters outside the estate walls.

A brisk walk away from the center of the old town leads to the Black Dragon Pool. Boasting one of China's signature views, the pool mirrors a bridge, a pagoda, and snow capped mountain peaks borrowed from the scenery behind. It is a popular picnic spot for locals and visitors alike. Water from the springs come together to form this pool, which in turn pours into a waterfall that streams into the old town. I would head to Tiger Leaping Gorge from Lijiang, leaving behind man made beauty for nature's splendour.

Little Sheep and Big Bad Wolf

To commemorate my two year anniversary in China, I went to the Little Sheep hotpot restaurant in Guomao with my colleagues. Our cute server had caught the eye of my coworkers, and they peer pressured me into talking to her.

Coworker #1: You should talk to the waitress!
Me: No, I don't think she can speak English.
Coworker #2: Find out.
Me: But you know what will happen if I speak to her in English. First the left cheek will turn red, and then the right cheek will turn red.
Coworker #3: I know.
Me: I meant my cheeks.
Coworker #3: I know.
Me: Maybe I can ask her for napkins? I need some.
Coworker #2: Too complicated.
Me: Square paper for wipe face.
Coworker #2: Ask her for toilet paper.
Coworker #3: No, ask her where the toilet is!
Coworker #2: That is good idea.
Coworker #1: Go! Go!

I approached the waitress and asked her for the toilet, bathroom, washroom, and WC without success. I pointed to the sign for the toilet. She finally understood and guided me to the bathroom. I returned to the table where my coworkers were sitting and told them what had transpired.

Coworker #2: If the sign already point to toilet, why you ask her then? You are idiot!

Wedding Fail

I asked a colleague if he had been to a particular Chinese restaurant that I wished to visit.

Coworker: Yes, I have been there for a failed wedding meal.
Me: Why was it a failure? Not enough food? Not enough beer?
Coworker: The meal was excellent, the marriage failed.