April 07, 2008

Ping Table, Pong Tennis

According to ancient lore, since the origin of the game the names "table tennis" and "ping pong" have been used interchangeably for this high intensity sport. In modern times most professional players like to say that they play table tennis while recreational players are fine referring to the activity as ping pong. During the summer, I went to the Canada Cup Premium - Greater Vancouver Open Table Tennis Championships hosted by the Canadian Chinese Table Tennis Federation and organized by Table Tennis Canada at the British Columbia Institute of Technology (CCP-GVOTTC presented by CCTTF and TTCAN at BCIT).


The BCIT gymnasium was filled with around ten table tennis boards with furious action taking place at all of them among contestants of different age groups, skill levels, and gender types. There were bleachers on each side upon which the spectators sat watching the ping pong balls whiz past their eyes. As time passed and players were eliminated from the competition, the number of tables began to rapidly shrink until there was only one table left. The largely homogeneous audience, which had up till now been evenly distributed, also compressed itself into the central bleachers so that they could catch all the fast paced action. The Canadian champion lost to one of the top ranked players in the world - Chen Weixing, but not before putting on an entertaining show.

April 01, 2008

New Discoveries

A study came out recently with findings that were good news for some and quite disconcerting for others. Researchers focused on a group of 82 married couples who were rated on their appearance and encouraged to talk about the health of their relationship. The primary finding was that "men's attractiveness appeared to be more detrimental than beneficial to marriage", or as media outlets around the world put it - "The secret to a successful marriage is an ugly husband". If the wife must be more attractive than the husband, then the ARNABride would have to be exceedingly beautiful to outshine my luminescent countenance. She would have to be an ARNABombshell. This is not only consistent with the ARNABabe framework but strengthens it with further scientific backing.

Another of the findings could explain why the search for potential ARNABride candidates has not made any meaningful progress as of this date.

"Attractive men have available to them more short-term mating opportunities (ie ARNABabes). This may make them less satisfied and less committed to the marital relationship (ie ARNABride)."

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I came upon another article of interest in the media. India Infoline mentions "Arnab looked like a heartthrob with his new look and swept the audience off their feet", most likely alluding to the newest incarnation of the ARNABeard and my loyal readership.

March 29, 2008

Interior Design

A friend and I went to the Opening Night Preview Party of the inaugural Interior Design Show West that was taking place at the Vancouver Convention Centre. My strong interest in interior designing and the proximity of the convention centre to my workplace spurred me to attend the event. My desire was further enhanced upon discovery of some interesting statistics which stated that over 70% of attendees would be females with post-secondary education and incomes over $100,000. After entering the convention hall, I was also able to verify that 70% of attendees were over the age of 50 as well.


There were many pieces of art and furniture on display. I was particularly impressed by the Dyson Airblade touch free hand drier which works in 12 seconds. Honourary mention goes to a picture frame with a digital screen that allows you to display any piece of art that is available in its catalogue. The overall theme seemed to be 'Green Living' with wood and stone being prominent elements in many of these exhibits. Live music and painting, both on canvas and on bodies, rounded out the event.

March 23, 2008

ARNABloating

ResponseTek is a leader in collecting real time feedback from customers of large scale firms. After a graphically gifted associate of mine created a composite image containing side by side before and after pictures of me, I posted it on a popular social networking site. Following in my company's footsteps, I was able to informally gauge popular opinion on the transformation of the ARNABody. The results were surprising. Although only two options were presented, to my astonishment a write-in option also gained considerable support from the masses.

On the ballot:
  • ARNABony - post India and pre-ResponseTek skinnier version
  • ARNABlimp - after 5 months at ResponseTek
Write in choices:
  • ARNABuff or ARNABuilt - a mythical muscular being
  • ARNABetween - the mean average of ARNABony and ARNABlimp
The voice of the people was captured and transformed into an ordered list which showed the public preference of the future direction of the ARNABody. After filtering out votes stating no preference as long as they got a taste of the ARNABody in any shape or form, the results were:
  1. ARNABuff
  2. ARNABlimp
  3. ARNABony
  4. ARNABetween

Pregnancy Scare

Trading in the physically exerting role of globetrotting adventurer for that of an office dwelling software engineer has taken a toll on the wondrous ARNABody. The attractive structure is increasing in mass at an alarming rate of 2-2.5 pounds a month. My Adam's apple has receded and my rugged jawline has become soft and rounded. To alleviate my concerns, a chubby coworker cheerfully declared that "You're only fat if you feel fat". He also mentioned he has not seen his Adam's apple in years.

Some of my colleagues attributed my rapid swelling to my "pregnancy". Just as female frogs change sexes and transform into male frogs when the female:male ratio is unfavourably tilted, they hypothesized that I am also mutating due to the extreme workplace ratio that is prevalent in the IT industry. My frequent cravings for poutine and other edible heavenlies was pointed out as further evidence in support of this gender jumping theory.