You Don't Know Girls Still

Some people turn to their friends and family when they need help. Many search the Internet for answers. A few write letters to newspaper columnists. Others approach subject matter experts directly.  In my case this would mean Korean men. I explained my unfortunate situation to them:

"K-girls do not appreciate my jokes. Sarcasm flies over their beautifully sculpted heads. Teasing offends them. Regular conversation bores them. What should I talk to them about?"

The first Korean man I asked provided a weak response, greatly underestimating the brilliant minds to be found within their ravishing frames:

"Talk to them about something simple… like kimchi. Before making a joke, warn them that you are about to tell a joke."

The second Korean man I asked turned the question on its head, revealing his silent strategy for success:

"You don't know about girls still. Just hear what she say and drink a lot. Save your word. Just show your smile and generous emotion. Then she want to lean to you. Girls like to talk everything, so just hear what she say and understand her and hug her and kiss and go to motel. Game end!"

*****

"Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful" - J. Marine

The Superficial

Korean man: Was it just your opinion?

Me: What was my opinion?

Korean man: That you are best guy in the room.

Me: No, it's a fact... but if you can show me a Korean guy who is my age with 8 years work experience  spread across 4 different countries, who can understand parts of 6 languages, has been to 30 countries, has helped children in India, is technically gifted, a brilliant writer, smart, handsome, funny, responsible, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink much, doesn't visit prostitutes, cooks, doesn't beat girls, and with high earning potential, then you can get back to me.

Korean man: Kekeke*. I already knew that how smart you are, but you always ignore about that style is very important to Korean girls.

Me: They should look at the substance and character of a man.

Korean man: But you are same. At that first meet, you always check girls appearance. That is same.

* The onomatopoeic representation of Korean laughter (ㅋㅋㅋ)

DMZ: Joint Security Area

The Joint Security Area (JSA) is a high security area within the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) that divides North and South Korea. Also referred to as Panmunjeom, it was the spot where the historic armistice agreement between the Communist forces and the United Nations Command  (UNC) was signed in 1953. Negotiations between the two sides of the divided nation take place here. International visitors, but not Korean civilians, can take a tour of the area under the auspices of the USO, a non profit organization that aims to boost the morale of American troops stationed around the globe.

 I had checked in with my passport at the Yongsan Military Base in Seoul and then boarded the tour bus. The American guy sitting beside me turned out to be a startup founder working out of his laptop and also seeing a bit of the world at the same time. The bus rolled into Camp Bonifas in the afternoon after stops at the Third Infiltration Tunnel and Dorasan. Outside the bright blue meeting rooms of Panmunjeom, South Korean guards in traditional taekwondo poses stared down their North Korean counterparts.

We watched an informative presentation on the history of the JSA by an American soldier, and heard stories about North Korean axe murderers and defectors. The "Axe Murder Incident" took place when several American soldiers went out to cut down a poplar tree that was blocking the line of sight between a checkpoint and a guard post. The North Koreans objected to this unilateral decision, and attacked the Americans en masse. The camp is named after Arthur Bonifas, one of the two men killed in the skirmish.

We passed by some landmarks within the JSA like the Daeseongdong Freedom Village and the Bridge of No Return. Used for prisoner exchange, the infamous bridge is so named because this is where Korean soldiers had to make an irreversible decision of which side they wanted to go to - the North or the South. The Military Demarcation Line (MDL) dividing the two states intersects the bridge. Every once in a while North Korean soldiers try to nab an UNC soldier and drag him over the bridge to the other side.

The residents of the Freedom Village enjoy the highest average earnings in Korea since they are not taxed on the income they generate from farming. The men of the village are also exempt from fulfilling the two years of military duty that is usually mandatory for Korean men. The village men can marry ladies from outside the village, but men are not allowed to marry into the village. Like Korean beauties who live with their parents, the villagers have a strict curfew and their movements are closely monitored.

*****

"At the end of the day, we must go forward with hope and not backward by fear and division." - Jesse Jackson

Conversations With K-girls: Not Working

Although more interrogation than conversation due to the language barrier, engaging in dialogue with a Korean beauty is always a memorable experience.

Me: What did you study in university?
K-girl: Mathematics.
Me: Where do you work?
K-girl: I work Monday to Friday. Not tonight.

*****

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart."  - Nelson Mandela

DMZ: The Third Tunnel

North Korean troops dug several tunnels to South Korea through the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) that acts as a buffer between the warring states. Only 44 kilometers away from Seoul, the infamous Third Infiltration Tunnel was discovered in 1978 on information provided by a North Korean defector. It was the third tunnel to be found but there are estimated to be over twenty tunnels crossing the Military Demarcation Line (MDL). The MDL was defined to be the land border between the two countries in their armistice agreement signed in 1953.

The tunnel walls are coated with coal although none is naturally present in the area. The North Koreans said they were just building the 1.6 km long tunnel for mining purposes and not as a means for sending thousands of troops into South Korea undetected during a surprise attack on Seoul. A sign in the tunnel mentioned that this was just another example of North Korean double handedness. The pathway is rather steep at a 30 degree angle of incline. The tunnel is high enough to accommodate most North Koreans, but a lot of tourists kept banging their yellow hard hats into the ceiling of the cave. The tunnel has been blocked off before the MDL by several barricades put up by the South Koreans.

After emerging from the tunnel into the bright sunshine, I went to the Dora Observatory overlooking North Korea on the 38th parallel. From here I could see Kijongdong, a movie studio like set of a village depicting the life of perfect harmony and luxury led by residents of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. South Koreans call it the Propaganda Village. A tall mast proudly waved the North Korean flag, built to one up the height of the flag pole constructed on the South Korean side. These are among the tallest flagpoles in the world. The South Korean tour guide asked whether there was any visual difference between the two lands. She indicated that on the North Korean side the mountains had no trees, since they had to use all the wood for heating and eating.

The nearby Kaseong Industrial Complex is a one of its kind unique joint venture between the divided states where around 50,000 North Korean labourers are employed by South Korean companies. Wages are very low, but still much higher than the North Korean norm. Chocolate bars are one of the favourite forms of payment, as they can be bartered in North Korea at an extravagant exchange rate for less delicious goods.

The Dorasan Train Station, completed in 2007, is the final stop on the South Korean side before entering the Hermit Kingdom. A billboard reminded me that it is "Not the last station from the South, but the first station toward the North." No commuter rail service exists today, but the shiny new station has been built in anticipation of the day when an unified Korean becomes a reality.

*****

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner." - Nelson Mandela