ARNABartending

Date: March 2007
Location: Outskirts of Bangalore
Event: Private Party

Due to my status as an international icon I generously made an appearance at a farmhouse party being thrown in Whitefield by a fellow intern, on the far eastern fringe of Bangalore city. After finding an auto, having it run out of fuel, going to the bathroom (indoors), finding another auto, arriving at what we thought were the premises only to have it be an intersection, and then sitting on a canister of gas in the rear storage compartment of a shared taxi, it was not too long before we reached the location.

Upon arrival, we followed a trail leading to a small treehouse-like complex where all the guests had congregated. With around a hundred people already in attendance, this area was quite crowded with lots of drinking and dancing going on all around me. As a devout non-dancer and frequent teetotaler, I was out of my element and frantically looked for a safe zone where I could place myself. I spotted some tables that had been left near the balcony. I gracefully glided in behind them, planning to relax and enjoy the rest of the night. I found quite a few bottles of rum and various soft drinks situated around me. By now darkness had fallen and the crowds were getting heavier. Soon people were accosting me and asking me to pour them drinks. It appeared I had taken the place of three no-show bartenders and had positioned myself as the preferred beverage provider for the party.

As I mention in my cover letters when I am applying for any jobs, I am a fast learner who can quickly pick up new skills. Soon I was simultaneously mixing drinks into many glasses at once, making small talk, and looking devastatingly gorgeous. The ARNABar was open for business. The ARNABeauties all complimented me on my newfound abilities and old world charm, while their male companions scowled at me and complained that the rum was no good. The rum in question was Super Jack Rum (from the makers of Super Jack Brandy and Super Jack Gin), and tasted better with each subsequent glass. At 6am the next morning I was finally able to go home and rest after a hard night's work.

A Tale of Two Cities

My yearlong odyssey has been split between Hyderabad (~5 months) and Bangalore (~7 months). Recently I returned to Hyderabad to sort out some paperwork issues, and this allowed me to reflect on the two cities that I have called home during the past year. Both cities have their pros and cons. If the best facets of each city were taken and combined to create a new fictional city, Hydralore, and the worst parts were used to create another, Bangabad, I wonder which real world cities they would most resemble.

Hyderalore

· Lots of events such as concerts, plays, etc (Bangalore)
· Rich cultural heritage with a blend of ancient and the modern (Hyderabad)
· Scenic hangouts (Hyderabad)
· Multicultural atmosphere (Bangalore)
· Salubrious climate (Bangalore)
· Thriving IT industry (Bangalore/Hyderabad)
· Varied shopping options (Bangalore)
· Multiple modes of public transportation (Hyderabad)
· Mixed accommodation (Hyderabad)

Bangabad

· Pollution and traffic congestion (Bangalore)
· Unscheduled but predictable power outages (Bangalore)
· Relatively high cost of living (Bangalore)
· Early closing times for commercial establishments (Hyderabad/Bangalore)
· Wild dogs prowling the street (Bangalore)
· Extreme heat (Hyderabad)
· Lack of infrastructure and unplanned urban sprawl (Bangalore)
· Riots (Bangalore)
· Explosions (Hyderabad)
· Unscrupulous auto rickshaw drivers (Bangalore)

Water Shortage

Electricity is a wonder that occasionally graces the city of Bangalore, but water has been a much more stable resource. So far only once have I been left out to dry. After waking up and taking a look in the mirror, I turned on the tap so I could wash my face. It did not elicit a response. Frustrated, I tried the other water sources in the bathroom. Toilet – no flush. Shower – no sprinkle. Bucket – empty. Adapting to the situation using my sharp survival skills, I had to take a shower and brush my teeth using my one litre bottle of packaged drinking water.

Men in Saris

Out of the many categories of less fortunate people in India (the old, the young, the unhealthy, the mistreated, the frequently impregnated, …), the one that is the most forward in their requests for money are the Men in Saris (MIS’s). Frequently they attempt to make physical contact with me, stroking my face or other significant landmarks on my body. The MIS’s also have a unique clapping technique which they use to signal their arrival and consequent demand for compensation.

Draped in traditional Indian clothing, each of these (wo)men possess muscles comparable to what 10 regular Indian men enjoy, and can be very menacing. As their unique position in society prevents them from getting regular jobs, they have turned to alternate means of funding their subsistence. Whenever I am approached by beggars I give them food if I have it, but I never give them money. I usually receive several colourful epithets and a scowl in return for my lack of financial generosity.

Those with a superstitious mindset have suggested that the MIS’s may have instigated the birds against me, which would explain my frequent aerial attacks. In one week, I was victimized twice - a pair of brown nuggets on a blue shirt and a white stain on a beige shirt, bringing the total count to 6 overhead attacks.

Chang and I

One of my favourite roommates at my Cooke Town apartment was Chang. Recently he moved from Bangalore and returned to his hometown. He accompanied the Bengaluru Tiger on many outings, ranging from fine dining to special events. His blog, the Buddha Soliloquies, describes three of our adventures together - one day trip, one concert, and one air show. I have taken excerpts from there and added a brief comment at the bottom of each.

-------------------------*-------------------------

JUNKET = BELUR, HALEBID, SRAVANABELAGODA

"Sravanabelagoda is the first destination. Six hundred and eighteen steps are all it takes to get the top of the hillock to get a glance of the temple and the famous Jain statue. Six eighteen is a large number, and palkhis [palanquins] are available. In true adventurous & religious spirit, I intend to conquer those six hundred & eighteen steps (that I don’t have money to spare for the palkhi is irrelevant banter). The sluggishness of daily life & the sins of zero exercising catches up when only on the 50th step itself, the lungs are screaming for air, the feet are trembling and buckling under their own weight. But grit and determination (and a resolve not to embarrass myself) gets me going anew to the summit. The statue of the Jain Tirthankara stands at 58 feet, much smaller than I expect it to be. One of the largest monoliths in the world, it depicts a naked God with stone vines growing from a rock around him onto his thighs. The posture – erect. The expression – serene. The view from the top? Breathtaking – literally!!!!

The descent is deceptive. Though it looks easy, it is so easy to trip & go rolling down the hill. No Jack & Jill here. One tumble and hello Humpty-Dumpty. As always, hordes of hawkers selling everything from postcards to chess boards to imitation Ganeshas storm troop me. A cold, indifferent glance is all they get…

Surprisingly good noodles for lunch in a South Indian restaurant pave the path to Belur and Halebid. Both these places could pass off as the poor-man’s Hampi. The temples belong to the same dynasty and the same time period, hence the uncanny similarity in the architecture. From a distance, I can’t tell one from the other, but a closer look at the thousands of stone human figures, elephants, warriors, Gods and Goddesses adorning the temple clearly sets a clearer picture. The sculpted inner & outer walls of the temple tell a tale of dedication and sheer hard work by the craftsmen. Each figure is carved to perfection and straining to come to life any moment.

Each figure carries a different story, sometimes amusing, sometimes amazing and sometimes downright insane. Like how once Lord Vishnu was so pissed with a demon that he literally ripped the skin off his face [a la autopsy]. Also, how the word GOD actually stands for the Holy Hindu Trinity –

G - Generator (Brahma)
O – Operator (Vishnu)
D – Destroyer (Shiva)

That one has me rolling on the floor.

Journeys back home after an enjoyable trip are never happy ones, knowing that the getaway from the mundane daily routine has come to an end. The tired body has taken a beating, and it calls it a day."

Arnab's Notes: Being a physical specimen, I was not overly exhausted by this day trip, although the intricacy of the carvings at Halebid did overwhelm my finer senses.

-------------------------*-------------------------

A TRIBUTE TO REMEMBER

"An evening of perfection
An evening of mastery
An evening of pure magic!

I expect no lesser in a jugalbandi between Ustad Amjad Ali Khan, sarod maestro, and Ustad Zakir Hussain, tabla virtuoso. 2nd March brings "The Tribute to Bangalore" concert. Chaotic traffic and poor parking arrangements are the venue’s decorations, but once inside the mind is set to rest. Ustad Amjad Ali explains how both haven’t had the time to rehearse their show, how they shall play according to each other [a gift of years of dedication & practice] – hence the amalgam music produced is birthed only once and never repeated. The perfect symphony between the two is the stuff of legends. The beautiful rendition surprisingly sounds like impending doom, melancholy, the advent of monsoon and joy all at once. The snail paced compositions pick up tempo to reach a frenzied crescendo. Sure, for a carnatic music ignoramus like me, it is tough to tell one composition from the other but surprisingly, I find myself swaying to this form of music too. Whenever the performance begins to get monotonous, the Ustads conjure a magic-trick from their infinitesimal repertoire that has us cheering and applauding with gay abandon. It is pure bliss to sit there and imbibe the renditions. Three hours pass by quickly in a haze of bliss & wide-eyed wonder."

Arnab's Notes: My second classical concert in India, but the first where true masters were playing. Enjoyable to the ear and soothing to the soul.

-------------------------*-------------------------

WHEN THE SKIES ROARED

"I get to visit The Aero-India show 2007 due to the persistence of a fellow enthusiast. Passes are hard to get by (sold out two weeks supposedly) and we ride off in the eternal hope of getting them at the venue. The ride is long, and the bike unresponsive to the strains of high speed. We finally make it by 10:30 AM and secure tickets too. By the time we get in, a few parachuting maneuvers are all that we have missed. What follows is truly delighting. Choppers and fighter jets whizzing around the display arena at high speeds, performing dangerous and high “aaaaaah” quotient maneuvers. Throughout the event, there is a running informative commentary about the Aircrafts, the pilots having these beauties at their command and the skills required to make possible their majestic flight. It is another matter altogether that with the Jets crossing the sound barrier repeatedly and creating ear-splitting noise, it becomes virtually impossible to hear most of it. Apt music (part military style, part rock) adds to the overall ‘feel’ of the event. The prominent aircrafts on display are the C-17 Boeing, the MIG 29, Sukhoi, LTA, BEL 407, F-16 Viper, Tejas LCA, IJT, Saras heli-team, among others. Truly impressive!"

Arnab's Notes: This aerial spectacle was serene compared to my other avian encounters, but still spectacularly entertaining. Lots of stylish maneuvers were performed, such as a diagonal crisscross among a pair of helicopters coming from one direction and another one flying in a perpendicular direction right between the other two.

Checklist of an Indian Mother

Based on a hypothetical survey conducted during my travels through India and asking a representative sample of Indian mothers what are the most important characteristics that she looks for in a man when searching for a suitable husband for her beloved daughter(s). The following are the results in no particular order:

* Comes from a good family
* Deliciously handsome and fair skinned
* Intelligent
* Responsible
* Based in North America
* Aware of language, culture, and traditions
* Educated overseas
* Mild mannered
* Works in software field
* Morally sound

The Prince of Honour passes with flying colours! Unfortunately it is still a mystery what the Indian daughter seeks.

Where Did All the Autos Go?

One sunny Bangalore morn I dressed up smartly in my carefully selected business casual outfit and proceeded for work. Having exited my flat and reaching the main street upon which I hail auto rickshaws with only the use of my intense gaze, I noticed a strange occurrence – the complete absence of these three wheeled vehicles on the road. Dazed and confused, I waited half an hour to no avail. The rickshaws were nowhere to be seen. Otherwise daily life was unfolding regularly, so I deduced the rickshaws must be on strike. To confirm my educated guess I returned home and checked the news on the television. Sure enough, the rickshaw drivers were on strike in protest of police cruelty or some other preposterous claim. Now my only remaining option to get to work was to use the public transportation system. Changing into some unwashed and decidedly less glamorous clothes, I waddled towards the bus station. Three buses and an hour and a half later I arrived at my work place, only a little worse for wear.

Mosquito Bites

On my first day in India I was attacked by a squadron of bloodsucking mosquitoes. Left in an almost comatose state, each bite zone swelled up to the size of a ripe mango. Mosquitoes have a propensity for my sweet untainted blood. It is a savory delight which they feast upon with increasing frequency. At first I thought I was the meal of choice because I was the new treat in town, but eight months later the mosquitoes remain just as fond of my succulent blood as ever. My recovery time from the bites has drastically increased though. The initial agony from the bite is just as intensely painful as before, but within 12-24 hours I no longer notice any itchiness in the affected region. Legend has it that mosquitoes are universally attracted to a rare collection of individuals who possess a divine love scent. To counteract this effect, some victims have taken up smoking or prescribing to medications that make them smell like cabbage. As a man with considerable self respect, I have taken neither of these precautionary measures.

On a related note, the company bus arrives at the office half an hour before the departure time. During this period it keeps its doors wide open. By the time it is ready to leave a squad of bloodsuckers has positioned itself inside. During the journey home, my head is surrounded by a cluster of mosquitoes while the rest of the occupants merrily listen to their MP3 players, chat with their colleagues, or pretend to sleep. I have yet to determine if locals have been bitten so much that they instantaneously heal from the bites or if the mosquitoes have no interest in them when I am available.

Goa

On a Friday night I met up with a group of 13 Europeans. The approximate breakdown was 6 Dutch, 1 German, 1 Italian, 2 English, 1 Belgian, 1 French, and 1 Hungarian. Together we departed for north Goa on a two story bus, where the top deck consisted of mattresses and the bottom one of reclining seats. Always a gentleman, I took one of the less comfortable seats with my head grazing the bottom of the bunk positioned above me. 14 hours later we arrived in Panjim, Goa. From there the group split into two, with some settling down in Calangute and some in Vagator, but then meeting later on for joint escapades. The first of these locations, Calangute, offers a long stretch of sandy beach with overpriced activities on offer such as parasailing and jet skiing, while the other, Vagator, is known more for parties but has a rockier beach.

The first day was spent learning how to ride a motorized bike. The Europeans looked down at me as I can only drive an automatic vehicle and have no experience with gears. I rented a scooter, a Honda Activa, and after a few practice rounds and one close encounter with physical disfigurement, was soon off and running. At high speeds (30kph) I was comfortable, but I was very bad at maintaining balance and maneuvering through high traffic areas. Due to my minimal velocity and lack of driving skills, at one point I was leading a caravan of around 70 cars, trucks, bullock carts, etc down the main street linking the two beach destinations. I pulled over and went inside a street side restaurant. After watching India’s cricket team play miserably against Bangladesh for one hour, I noticed that the traffic had subsided and thus continued on my journey. At night we proceeded to Club Cabana, where the young, rich, and beautiful gathered for a night of fun and frolic. The theme was “Model’s Night”. I spotted two scantily dressed ones (or was it 4?). Apparently India’s most legendary superstar Amitabh Bachchan was present for all of 35 seconds at this fancy establishment, situated on a hilltop overlooking the Goan countryside.

Day 2 was a continuation of the first night’s party. Thoroughly inebriated and unable to drive my scooter back to my hotel, I shared a cab back to my place with the French lady and a middle aged couple who were still young at heart. Around noon, I awoke, had lunch, and picked up my scooter, before heading off for the beach. A hearty game of beach soccer was played and I put on a dazzling display of my defensive skills, stripping the opposition of the ball and blocking shots with equal vigor. While the others were sunbathing, I proceeded to climb up a nearby hill. The ruins of a fort and a magnificent view awaited me. Apparently this was also the location of a famous scene from the Hindi movie Dil Chahta Hai. A 65 year old Bob Marley fan offered me a strawberry, clasped my hand and pounded it against his chest, and advised me to “Live free”. The second night ended with a trek down the hillside to the beach, only to discover that it was almost entirely gone due to the high tide. We retreated and after considerable effort and teamwork, created a beachside bonfire. Soon everyone fell quiet and underneath the starry sky contemplated their place in the annals of history. Meals consisted of hearty amounts of seafood and liquid intake was primarily alcoholic. Before heading back to Bangalore, I sampled the Goan poison known as feni in two distinct flavors – coconut and cashew, with coconut winning the taste sweepstakes. All in all, a most wondrous experience!

Holiday Season

Pre-Christmas weekend was spent carousing with Koreans. We ate Korean food, watched the film Kabul Express, and went to a temple. This site, located in idyllic Kemp Fort near the airport, is open 24 hours a day and contains a large Ganesha idol and an even larger Shiva statue. It is accessed through the rear entrance of a mall that claims to house the largest kid’s store in the world!

For my Christmas holidays, I returned to West Bengal and met up with my aunt, uncle, and cousin’s family. Together we went to Darjeeling, famous for its tea and situated in a very scenic location nearby the Himalayas with an elevation of about 7000 ft. Although foggy for most of my stay, I was able to glimpse the Kangchenjunga mountain range, containing the third highest mountain on Earth. From the airplane, I was able to view the complete range in all its magnificence from above. I was able to ride the steam powered toy train from Darjeeling to the nearby town of Ghum. This included crossing the Batasia Loop, an engineering marvel where the train completes a 360 degree turn to get up a steep path. Other activities included visiting the Nepalese border at Fatak, picnicking at the lake town of Mirik, going to a rock garden, checking out Buddhist monasteries, and learning how to play pool with my cousin’s son.

Post-Christmas, I came back to Bangalore on December 31st. As a refined man of the world, I try to attend various cultural events. Bangalore has a large community of artists and musicians so on New Year’s Eve I attended an art exhibition called Chitra Santhe and on New Year’s Day I witnessed a classical musical performance at Garuda Mall, one of the city’s largest shopping and entertainment complexes. My friendly flatmate Chang, destined to be one of the greatest dentists this world has ever seen, attended both the art show and concert and has written about them in detail on his own blog. Accompanied by two flatmates and two of their friends, I made my way to approximately the 32nd most happening place in Bangalore on New Years. For a flat entry fee we were able to enjoy unlimited drinks at a club and unlimited food at adjoining Thai, Chinese, and Indian restaurants. I do not remember my meal.

***

In India, Arnab means “ocean”. In Arabic, “rabbit”. In Africa, ARNAB stands for African Research Network for Agricultural Byproducts.

***

Some of my more foul-mouthed colleagues have taken it upon themselves to teach me vulgar terms in Hindi. Being pure of mind and virtuous of spirit, I have cleansed these words from my memory.

***

Not being the type to live a sedentary lifestyle, in the past seven months in India I have participated in strenuous sporting activities such as cricket, mini golf, and table tennis, among others.

***

A rickshaw driver by the name of Ali and I had come to an understanding where he would pick me up from near my flat at 10:30 am every working day and then deliver me to my workplace safe and sound. Unlike most Bangaloreans, Ali did not possess a mobile phone. Due to my overwhelming zest for work, I sometimes found that I wanted to arrive at office even earlier than my regular 11 am starting time, but I had no way to convey my desire to my rickshaw driver. After a week long trial period, the relationship ended due to this reason.

From One Year to the Next

For the hero of our story, the year 2006 was a momentous one. In 2007, the legend will continue to grow. As one year comes to a close and another begins, it is time for some "to do" and "have done" lists taking a look back at the year that was and offering a sneak preview into the year that will be.

***

Life

Top 3 Achievements of 2006 (in no particular order):

Graduated from Simon Fraser University with a BSc in Computing Science and Business Administration after four years of continuous effort and dedication to my studies

Cemented my status as a bonafide heartthrob with mass global appeal and a diversified fan base

Obtained an internship with Satyam, allowing me to gain international work experience in my chosen field and at the same time explore my heritage, travel India, and visit my relatives

***

Travel

Places Visited So Far (Days Spent):

Hyderabad
Mumbai (5)
Hampi (2)
Delhi/Lucknow/Neemrana (10)
Chennai/Kanchipuram/Mahabalipuram (4)
Aurangabad/Ajanta/Ellora/Pune (3)
Kolkata (12)
Bangalore
Cochin/Alleypey/Varkala/Trivandrum/Kanyakumari/Kovalam (6)
Nandi Hills (1)
Coorg (2)
Darjeeling/Ghum/Mirik/Fatak(5)

Total Places: 27

Places on the World Heritage List (Visited):

Agra Fort
Ajanta Caves
Ellora Caves
Taj Mahal
Group of Monuments at Mahabalipuram
Sun Temple, Konârak
Kaziranga National Park
Keoladeo National Park
Manas Wildlife Sanctuary
Churches and Convents of Goa
Fatehpur Sikri
Group of Monuments at Hampi
Khajuraho Group of Monuments
Elephanta Caves
Great Living Chola Temples
Group of Monuments at Pattadakal
Sundarbans National Park
Nanda Devi and Valley of Flowers National Parks
Buddhist Monuments at Sanchi
Humayun's Tomb, Delhi
Qutb Minar and its Monuments, Delhi
Mountain Railways of India
Mahabodhi Temple Complex at Bodh Gaya
Rock Shelters of Bhimbetka
Champaner-Pavagadh Archaeological Park
Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (formerly Victoria Terminus)

So far I have visited 11 of the 26 sites. The complete list can be found on the UNESCO World Heritage Center website.

***

Food

Bangalore restaurants I have been to or plan to go to
Hyderabad restaurants I have been to or plan to go to

In and Around Bangalore

Each weekend I try my best to vacate Bangalore in search of fresh air or for sites with historical or cultural significance. One such outing was to Nandi Hills, a giant block of granite that rises 1.5 km high. Once atop this monolith, I wandered across the uneven and rocky terrain (not to be confused for Bangalore “roads”) and surveyed the landscape in all directions. One point is known as Tipu’s Drop, where the famous sultan had his prisoners tossed into oblivion. This practice has not endured into modern times, so the point is now a favorite destination for lovers to commit suicide.

****

On November 1st (Karnataka Day), Bangalore was officially renamed Bengaluru. This provides scope for considerable confusion as I am a Bengali from Canada in Bengaluru where they speak Kannada. In related news, the Bangalore Banger monicker was dropped in favor of the Bengaluru Tiger.

****

My Bangalore Bengaluru office is located in the northern outskirts of the city in a place called Hebbal. It is a newly constructed facility. So new, in fact, that construction is still taking place on some floors while others are already inhabited by workers. The walls in the stairwells are covered by red stains, which are remnants of chewing tobacco and paan which are frequently to be found in the mouths of construction workers before being spat out in dramatic fashion. Hebbal is a combination of a dusty village and several burial sites of different religions (including a Parsi tower of silence), with a business park planted in the middle of it. It takes between 45 minutes to an hour for me to commute to my workplace, which is reasonable in comparison to the multi-hour one way travel times of several coworkers. For an additional fee, Satyam provides a daily bus service to its employees. The bus stops around 2 kilometers away from my flat. Usually, I take this bus on the way back from work. In the morning I take an auto rickshaw since I do not wake up in time to catch the bus and since I am not going to walk 2 kilometers twice (4 kilometers!) in one day.

****

And one more thing...

Maharashtra Marvels

On one long weekend, I ventured to Maharashtra with the goal of exploring the famed Ajanta and Ellora Caves along with 3 South Koreans and another Canadian. The nearest major city to the caves was Aurangabad. In and around the city we visited Daulatabad Fort, complete with cannons, moats, bat infested tunnels, and other hazards, and also Bibi ka Maqbara, the “poor man’s Taj Mahal”. Ajanta contains only Buddhist sculptures and paintings compared to Ellora’s broader range of Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain artifacts. Nonetheless, I preferred Ajanta due to its spectacular natural backdrop.

Having finished the caves in two days, we had a day too spare. Pune was nearby so we headed there. In Pune, I went to the zoo, parks, gardens, and a building where Mahatma Gandhi had been imprisoned. On the train journey home, we celebrated the birthday of my Korean roommate, with cake bought at the train station and some Rums Up (composed of India’s favorite soft drink, Thums Up, and another popular liquid).

Travel Checklist

This is the result of many days of research. The plan is to visit as many sites as possible!

Places of interest in Ladakh – jammukashmir.nic.in/tourism/ladakh/tourism.htm

Lei

Places of interest in Himachal Pradesh – himachaltourism.nic.in
Shimla
Manali
Kulu
Dharamshala

Places of interest in Punjab – www.punjabtourism.org

Chandigarh
Amritsar

Places of interest in Uttaranchal – gov.ua.nic.in/uttaranchaltourism

Dehradun
Haridwar
Nainital
Almora
Mussoorie
Corbett

Places of interest in Sikkim – sikkim.nic.in/sws/sikk_tour.htm

Gangtok

Places of interest in Uttar Pradesh – www.up-tourism.com

Agra*
Allahabad
Ayodhya
Jhansi
Lucknow*
Varanasi
Vrindavan
Fatehpur Sikri*

Places of interest in Rajasthan – www.rajasthantourism.gov.in

Ajmer
Alwar*
Jaipur*
Jaisalmer
Jodhpur
Mount Abu
Pushkar
Udaipur
Neemrana*
Bikaner
Sariska
Deeg
Ranthambor
Bundi
Chittaurgarh
Kota

Places of interest in West Bengal – www.wbtourism.com

Kolkata*
Darjeeling
Shantiniketan*
Kalimpong
Sunderbans

Places of interest in Gujurat – www.gujarattourism.com

Ahmedabad
Somnath
Dwarka
Gir

Places of interest in Madhya Pradesh – www.mptourism.com

Bandhavgarh
Khajuraho
Indore
Gwalior*
Sanchi
Places of interest in Orissa – orissatourism.gov.in
Bhubaneswar
Puri
Konark

Places of interest in Maharashtra - maharashtratourism.gov.in

Mumbai*
Pune*
Mahabaleshwar
Lonavala
Aurangabad*
Ajanta*
Ellora*
Nashik
Matheraan
Alibag
Ganpatipule

Places of interest in Karnataka - kstdc.nic.in

Bangalore*
Mysore
Aihole
Hampi*
Badami
Coorg*
Mangalore
Nandi Hills*
Belur
Bijapur
Halebid
Bidar

Places of interest in Tamil Nadu – www.tamilnadutourism.org

Chennai*
Madurai
Mahabalipuram*
Kodaikanal
Kancheepuram*
Rameswaram
Kanyakumari*
Ooty

Places of interest in Andhra Pradesh – www.aptourism.com

Hyderabad*
Vishakapatnam
Tirupati
Vijayawada
Warangal
Nagarjunasagar
Puttaparthy

Places of interest in Kerala - www.ktdc.com

Alleppey*
Cochin*
Trivandrum*
Calicut
Munnar
Wayanad
Kovalam*
Varkala*

Other places of interest

Andaman & Nicobar - tourism.andaman.nic.in
Delhi* - delhitourism.nic.in
Goa - www.goatourism.org
Lakshadweep - tourism.pon.nic.in

*Visited already!
________________________

Places Visited So Far (Days Spent):

Hyderabad
Mumbai (5)
Hampi (2)
Delhi/Lucknow/Neemrana (10)
Chennai/Kanchipuram/Mahabalipuram (4)
Aurangabad/Ajanta/Ellora/Pune (3)
Kolkata (12)
Bangalore
Cochin/Alleypey/Varkala/Trivandrum/Kanyakumari/Kovalam (6)
Nandi Hills (1)
Coorg (2)

Total Places: 23

Driving Test

Indian drivers are known for their passionate distaste of traffic rules, liberal usage of the horn, and uncanny maneuvering abilities. They are also required to pass a rigorous written examination if they wish to obtain an authentic driving license. As a frequent “joy-walker” I must also be aware of proper road regulations. The top ten excerpts from the state of Karnataka’s practice test:

12. Which lane must you be in while making a right turn:-
a. any lane.
b. extreme left lane.
c. extreme right lane.

28. Before leaving a vehicle parked, you should:-
a. Turn the ignition key off.
b. Stop the engine, lock the ignition, remove the key, and set the hand brake.
c. Look the car.

56. Over speeding or dangerous driving:-
a. Attracts strict warning from the authorities.
b. Is an invitation to accident.
c. Is an offence and is punishable under the law.

72. A pedestrian is crossing the street at an intersection in an unmarked cross walk, you should:-
a. Yield or give the pedestrian the “right-of-way’.
b. Proceed with care as pedestrian is ‘joy-walking’.
c. Reduce speed and warn pedestrian.

87. When the Motor Vehicle Inspector demands any information:-
a. Not obligatory to furnish it.
b. It is obligatory to furnish it.
c. He can refuse.

102. Why do we have speed limits?
a. To keep the traffic within a safe speed for existing condition.
b. More vehicles can be used on roads.
c. Authority can identify who is speeding.

106. When you approach a barrier, it is:-
a. Obligatory to stop the vehicle.
b. Mandatory to stop the vehicle.
c. Caution to stop the vehicle

116. When a cow is standing across the road:-
a. As to and wait until it clears the road.
b. Pass if from front.
c. Pass it from behind.

134. A driver shall drive in ‘one way’:-
a. Always in the direction specified by sign board.
b. Reverse direction in emergencies.
c. Both ways on Sundays.

136. If you are fined for any traffic violations you must feel:-
a. Proud.
b. Humiliated.
c. To correct your attitude in future.

Answers: 12. (c), 28. (b), 56. (c), 72. (a), 87. (b), 102. (a), 106. (c), 116. (c), 134. (a), 136. (c)

The complete practice exam can be found on Karnataka’s Road Transport Office website.

Hyderabad Happenings

Between Hyderabad and its sister city Secunderabad lies the man-made Hussain Sagar lake (or “God’s gift to Hyderabad” as the signage proclaims). In the center of the lake is an island containing a gigantic Buddha Statue, which is illuminated once darkness approaches. When the statue was initially being ferried to the island it sunk. A few years later it was rescued from the depths, perfectly intact. I took a pleasant boat ride to visit this monument.

****

The Ganesh Chaturthi festival is celebrated with much aplomb in Hyderabad, with the bulk of the celebration centering on the lake where thousands of Ganesh idols are immersed. A substantial portion of the general population attends the event. After some strenuous, shouting, dancing, singing, powder spraying, and exploding of firecrackers, 3 or 4 men load the large idols onto a platform, which is then dropped into the water with the assistance a crane.

***

I feasted on a plethora of intriguing creatures such as rabbit, pigeon, and quail. These had to be ordered several days in advance, so that the restaurant owner/meat provider would have sufficient time to acquire the specimens from the “farm”. The tandoori rabbit was the most delicious of the bunch, followed closely by the pigeon. Arab-speaking companions found it humorous that Arnab (“rabbit” in Arabic) was eating rabbit. While a single rabbit can feed three grown men, it is advisable to order 2 pigeons per person as they do not contain much meat. Quail tastes like a combination of chicken and egg, which makes it quite a delicacy.

***

Due to my pending departure to Bangalore a few more farewell parties were held (9 in total). ARNABash (intern edition), ARNABash (coworker edition), Arnaberfest, and the Arnab Poker Challenge were attended by various luminaries. To illustrate the diversity of Satyam’s Crossover internship program, there were attendees from Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, Germany, Holland, India, Mexico, Poland, South Korea, Sudan, Sweden, Turkey, and UAE.

****

Alas, I had to separate myself from my biryani and depart the City of Pearls, but my immediate destination was to be the City of Joy, rather than the City of Gardens. Due to some technical issues that delayed my transfer to Bangalore, I was granted a vacation to Kolkata while the matter was being settled.

***

ARNABombshell Status: Boiling Hot! A suspected change in the weather patterns had made the female interns frosty. As news of my imminent exit from the local landscape reached the ears of the international ice princesses, their chilly disposition towards the Hyderabadi heartthrob melted away. Lunch, dinner, and other invitations were accepted by almost all. Full details will be revealed in the ARNABiography, to be published at a much later date.

Saucy Seconds

For the second time in as many months my Arnab Sense failed me, and again I was the unknowing victim of an aerial assault. I only noticed the malodorous kernels once I had sat down and my hand had skimmed a gooey substance. I discovered a partially dry beige stain on my right pant leg. Previously, I had disregarded the stench as that of the sweaty locals, my own ArnabBO, or a potent combination thereof. It must be mentioned that ArnaBO (Body Odor) is most effective in neutralizing the raw attractive force generated by the ArnaBeard. Following the advice of my elders who had informed me that heavenly bombardment is a blessed event after the previous incident, I wore the same pants for the rest of the day.

*****

Advice on ARNABride from a concerned citizen: "You have to find the girl who you can always want to take care of her because you so so like her."

I'm Not Your Mom

Female Korean flatmate (no longer beguiled by my masculine charms): Like you know, I’m not your mom who have to do everything for you.

Maid in Hyderabad

At my Hyderabad house, not to be confused with the restaurant Hyderabad House where I partake in some delightful biryani, we employed the services of an old and rather useless maid. Her daily routine consisted of clearing out all the empty cans, glasses, and bottles she could find in the flat and then getting a refund for it. Dishes were halfheartedly washed, the floor was swept once a month, and the bathroom was ignored altogether. With heavy hearts, my roommates and I decided to terminate her employment and acquire a new maid. After heated debate, we settled on a teenager/young adult who lived in our garage. Very enthusiastic at the prospect of regular employment, the new maid regularly made us tea, folded my clothes, made my bed, etc...

As was the case with the previous one, this maid also did not speak a word of English or Hindi, knowing only Telugu. Communication occurred primarily in the form of hand gestures and facial expressions (of which I have a limited repertoire), but was largely successful. When she appeared at the doorstep decked out in her finest traditional Indian clothing on the day of the Ganesh festival and kept asking if I wanted her to sweep the floor, it was easy to determine that she was asking for a day off. The occasional misunderstanding did occur though, such as when my flatmate from Dubai could not locate his CD collection. He queried the maid for the whereabouts of his media, but the maid confused his question for an accusation of theft. For the next few days she had a sad face containing evidence of heavy tearfall. The source of her misery was deduced through masterful interpretation of linguistic nuances, and the Telugu speaking landlord was asked to speak to her and clarify the situation.

A Cautionary Tale

Having vacated the living room, I now share a room with a Korean guy. The other Korean chap who used to live in this room departed for greener pastures with fewer mosquitoes. My roommate has managed to befriend a fellow who is both an university student and rickshaw driver rolled into one. He also has a brother with long hair who rides a scooter. The dynamic duo invited him to their sister's wedding, and even gave him an auto ride to the wedding hall.

My flatmate from Dubai is suspicious of these individuals. He told us a cautionary tale of an intern who was once befriended by an Indian on the street. Together they went to a few clubs and parties and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. One day the Indian friend approached the intern in desperate need for money. He needed to borrow two thousand rupees immediately. He showed the intern his ring, convinced him that it was worth a fortune, and gave it to him as collateral in exchange for the money and left, never to be seen again. The next day the intern discovered his cell phone was missing and further investigation revealed that identical rings could be purchased from local street vendors for a pittance.