Slim Pickings

The soft sensitive skin with a wonderful complexion; the dark silky hair that flows through the fingers like the Yangtse through the People's Republic; the delicate beauty combined with quiet dignity - these are all characteristics that Chinese girls appreciate about me. I in turn admire their uniformly slim physiques and usage of high heels. Rare is the day that passes where I recollect encountering more than one fat Chinese woman in public. Most are petite, so they often wear shoes that will give them a higher elevation. Unfortunately, most also cannot speak English.

When I inquire as to whether Chinese ARNABeauties possess any English language capabilities, I am frequently met with blank stares, nervous giggles, silence, and/or awestruck expressions. This gives me no clear indication as to whether they can or they cannot. Cunning women also have the option of pretending not to be able to speak any English, since I will be unable to gauge their proficiency until they open their mouths. This, combined with my vacous grasp of the Chinese language, makes communication difficult.

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." ~ Winston Churchill